life of hope

so long, farewell

2008-12-20T18:55:00.003+08:00

Whoa. I've finally reached the 300th entry after 1 year, 8 months and 8 days. Let me recount yesterday and today first before I blog more about this blog.. =p

Went to my cousin's house to help her prepare for her students' recital. Was really really sleepy so took a nap on her nice big bed. Her quilt is super comfortable. I want to kidnap it! Haha. Then went to Funan where the recital was to be held. Shall fast forward til after the recital. While waiting for my dad, went to Laserflair and got my mum to buy 3 shows for me. 2 of them were dance movies, "Saturday Night Fever" and "Dirty Dancing 2". So don't get those titles for me, ya? The last title was the prequel to "The Little Mermaid". Lol. What can I say? I'm still a child at heart.

Woke up relatively early today. Haha. That means before 12 noon. Met saac at Plaza Singapura for lunch. He recommended this Western place which has decent prices and quite good food. Couldn't finish the carbonara though.. Went to Meridien to play pool. We finished 2 games before bronson came and joined us. Ended up losing 3 consecutive games to saac before bronson started to play as well.

We played 9 balls league-style. Isaac vs Bronson, Bronson vs me, me vs saac. I was actually in the lead for awhile. But of course, saac caught up and eventually, he won with 13 games. I was second with 9 games. And bronson won 5 games. It's been ages since I played 9 ball pool. I think I'm starting to prefer it over 8 ball. I think I've gotten better at pool. Apart from a few tyco shots, some of my shots were really quite pro. At least that's what the guys said. =) Too bad chetwin and eugene wasn't able to join us for pool. But then again, it would have been quite scandalous if they came since I would be alone with 4 guys. Lol.

Isaac and Bronson had to leave and get ready for their Christmas party so I went to walk around Plaza Singapura alone for awhile. Was trying to settle Renee's Christmas present and also find a nice pendant for myself. But sadly, I couldn't find either. Or rather, I found a stainless steel puzzle pendant but was reluctant to pay $24 for it. And it's actually half of those couple pendants so ya.. >.< Even though the guy was willing to sell me just one piece. Considered a few options for mei's present but none of them seemed that suitable so looks like I have to find something else. Anyway, that's all for today. Watching Ella Enchanted right now.

Sighs. I can't believe this is the last entry of this blog. It saw me through a good part of Year 4 and the whole of Year 5. A lot of my entries were recounts of what has happened in my life with the occasional book reviews and quiz questions. Hmm.. But it's time to move on. It's probably fitting that I start a new blog now. Actually, I have no idea what my new blog url's going to be. But I just wanted to blog and recount today so decided it's time to end this blog. Already have a blogskin in mind but just need to think of a url before I can create the blog. So it's time to say goodbye to this blog. Bye!

Rad(I)cal

2008-12-18T22:25:00.003+08:00

Haha. Unoriginal title.. It's so much easier to just use the camp theme as a title rather than to rack my brains to think of a title. Yeps. The camp theme was "Rad(I)cal". It helps that I've already recounted the camp to my mum so my thoughts are slightly more organized. Didn't have time to keep a journal throughout camp so shall have to rely on my memory. To summarize this blog entry, it'll be mostly about the games and workshops in camp. Shall skip blogging about the sermons because there's just too many but at the end of the entry, I'll blog about what God spoke to me.

1st day:
Had to report at 7:30am. Not going to list my group members since you all aren't going to know them anyway but I knew 5 out of the 15 people in my group (either as a friend or by reputation). Group name was 'iObey'. Fast forward to the afternoon. Games! =) Shall only recount two oout of the four games. One was this game where we had to transport an egg across the baby swimming pool using the materials given. The thing that we built overturned halfway and the egg dropped out. Lol. And one of my group members dropped into the pool. Haha. He just slipped and ya.. The dirtiest game of the day was this "Connect-3" game. We had to crawl across a canvas with water and dirt then crawl on the muddy field. Thankfully, only my shirt got a little dirty.

2nd day:
Workshop on parents. Haha. I didn't really think I needed to sit through that. But it was pretty good, I guess. After lunch, all 283 campers went to a park where we played more games. Lol. Highlight of the day? I got myself a husband. He's none other than my group leader. Rofl. Okok. Enough of this scandal. I shall explain. There was a game where we had to investigate a crime scene and piece together what happen. Then we had to act it out to the station-master and explain what happened. Based on the clues, my group constructed a story worthy of a Taiwan drama serial. Anyway, we needed a couple and a mistress. So ya.. So was sabo-ed to be the wife, who eventually commited suicide because the husband had a mistress and all. -sniff.

3rd day:
Haha. Every year without fail, they'll separate the guys and girls and have different workshops. No prizes for guessing the topics covered and all. Hmm.. The workshop was pretty interesting and funny at times. It helps when the adult leaders share their own experiences. Ohh. The leaders talked about appropriate dressing and provided some guidelines. Heehee. My shorts and skirts are cutting it a bit close. Oh well. Doesn't help that my legs seem longer in shorts and skirts.

The activity in the afternoon was labelled "Radical Mission". Each group was assigned a zone in Singapore and we were to try to win the lives of those in that area through the various stations. Quite a few stations but the most memorable ones were the first and last game. For the first game, we had to complete 4 tasks. The first and third one were relatively easier. Just a short quiz and a word puzzle. But we also had to do 200 sit-ups and 200 push-ups with our right arm disabled. Thankfully, we could divide it out among the members. The guys cleared all the sit-ups. Whoa. My group leader's super fit. Anyway, we girls had to help with the push-ups cause it was much harder for the guys. Last game was in one of the hotel rooms. The task was for everyone to lie down together in the room and not sleep. We weren't allowed to talk save for 2 words. In the end, most of us used the 2 words to encourage each other and all. Yeps.

4th day (aka last day aka today):
Photo-taking! Haha. It's hard to squeeze 283 youths + camp comm + adult leaders into one photo. For the candid shot, everyone had the same idea and those sitting in front all stood up and blocked the people at the back. Oops? =p The bus ride back was super hilarious! We were taking turns to make funny faces. Haha. I also wrote cards for some of my group members. Actually, I only wrote one card for my group leader and gave it to him. Then one of the members jokingly asked why he didn't get a card too. So I wrote for him and a few other members. But I kind of ran out of cards so ya..

Okie. Actually, I can just sum up what God spoke to me pretty easily. He was just asking me to come back to Him, attend service every week and step up to be an SP again. Nothing unexpected so ya.. Anyway, each of the service was really good and it feels great to be able to engage during worship once more. Haven't enjoyed myself just singing and praising God in quite a long while. -bounces.

It's amazing that I'm actually still quite awake now. Maybe it's the half cup of coffee I drank. Slept at nearly 3am this morning because I was talking to Sis Cheryl from 1 plus to 2 plus. Then couldn't sleep for awhile. Aww.. All my readers, be sad. I just deleted one chunk of my entry that was a bit scandalous. Lol. Anyway, shall end this entry now. Bye!

getting ready

2008-12-14T22:18:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. Before I blog about my feelings towards camp, I'll do a short recount of today. Didn't manage to sleep til 3am because I just wasn't sleepy so stayed up to read. Managed to finish the series that I borrowed from the library. =) Dad picked me up and we went to Vivocity for lunch. Tried this buffet at a place called "Carnivore". Let's just say it's very suitable for meat-lovers. I got a bit tired of meat after awhile.. Walked around after that and my aunt bought quite a lot of stuff. My only purchase was a pair of white shorts from Esprit. So guai, right? Haha. Teabreak at Bakerzin was quite good. Ordered a glass of strawberry lavender lime. It's like soda with strawberry syrup, the smell of lavender and 2 pieces of lime. After that, got sent home and I've just been slacking the rest of the day away..

Rad(I)cal. My 5th youth camp. Hmm.. I'm kind of glad that I'm not in a leadership position this camp even though being leader of a group last year was really enjoyable and taught me a lot. I don't think I'm suitable to be a leader. At least not with the way my spiritual life has been the past year. Suddenly, I miss last year's groupmates alot. Especially my AL.. It's been awhile since I talked to him. Sadly, the only person I ever kept in contact with after all the youth camp is saac.. Sighs. Hopefully, it'll be different this time around. Anyway, expecting quite alot from camp. And I know camp will challenge me to step out of my comfort zone. It's expected. Especially with this year's theme..

Bah. I am annoyed though. For two reasons. I've been trying to find my shoe bag so I can just clip it to my bag with a pair of sandals but I can't seem to find it. So I've resorted to stuffing my sandals into a plastic bag and squeezing it into my very fat bag. And the other thing that annoys me was that I had to repack my bag after the AL of my group messaged saying that fbts and shorts weren't allowed. Why not? >.< After all, they've been allowed for previous camps and all.. Sighs. So I had to dig up my berms. Thankfully, I haven't thrown them away while I was cleaning out my cupboard. Oh well.. Brought shorts to sleep in though.. =)

Hmm.. Can't wait to find out who's in my group. I know my leader from last year's mission trip though. He's a pretty good guy. I know my AL's name but don't know who she is. Guess I'll find out tomorrow. Anyway, I better turn in early. Have to report at 7:30am tomorrow morning.. >.< I'll be bringing my phone so you all can still message me. I'll be selective in replying messages though. Mhmm. Think I better bring my charger just in case. =p So yeps. Bye! Will be back Thursday afternoon.

music, food and sleep

2008-12-13T22:05:00.003+08:00

My title pretty much sums up yesterday and today. Hmm.. This is my 297th entry. One more entry before I leave for camp, then one entry about camp, then one final entry to conclude the use of this blog. Sounds pretty good. Need to come up with a url soon. But I shall blog about that later.

Woke up at around 12 plus, 1 yesterday. Slacked around and used my computer til 3 plus before I realized it was the perfect opportunity to wrap up my mum and bro's presents since they were out. Took longer than expected to wrap their presents so decided to go to the POSB branch at Suntec instead of Jurong East. Went Suntec and made a detour at Perlini's Silver but didn't see any pendant that I really like. >.< Met Gloria (my cousin) at Esplanade's ThaiExpress. Decided not to eat my usual dessert and order the mango sticky rice instead. It wasn't too bad but I felt that the rice was a bit too warm. Oh well. Gloria liked it though so we kind of shared the desserts. She ordered red ruby and it came with coconut ice cream.

Since we had some time to kill before the concert, we walked to Citylink. Brought her to my favourite shop, Hula & Co and both of us tried on several dresses. Saw something I like but since I've been spending so much lately, I thought it was better that I didn't buy the dress. Oh well. Gloria bought two of the same dress but in grey and black. Decided to be nice and paid for part of her purchase as her Christmas present. Rushed back to Esplanade for SSO's Christmas concert. The children choir was really good but as my cousin said, the harp made the whole thing a bit sleep-inducing. Bought a CD during the intermission, "Tchaikovsky's Ballet Music". After the intermission, it was the playing of Christmas favourites all the way. Overall, really enjoyed the whole concert. Good music and decent company. Dessert after that at Max Brenner. Gloria and I shared a suckao and chocolate fondue. The banana bread, that came with the fondue, was delicious. Was tempted to ask them if they sold the banana bread on its own. =p

Slept in again today til erm.. 2pm. =p Heehee. What? My bed just seemed so comfortable. Woke up and ate a banana prata before getting ready to go out to meet my aunt and grandma. Their singing class chartered a bus to some eatery at NTU so we were tagging along. For those who recall, I blogged about going to some place at NTU recently but went there and found it closed. Yeps. It's the same place. Ordered a baked rice and it came with a drink, soup and ice cream. Not too bad. Saw that they had creme bulee on the menu and pointed it out to my mum who proceeded to order 5 servings. Haha. One for each of us. The creme bulee is heavenly. My mum took a picture of my satisfied expression. =p Went back to my aunt's place after dinner and played mahjong. After 2+ hours of playing, won $3.60 in the end.

Lol. Anyway, went to the topic of my new blog url as promised. Any suggestions? Was discussing with nes last night but she didn't allow me to come up with anything along the theme of love or memories. Hmph. Not fair. My initial idea was along the theme of love so ya.. >.< Hmm.. Leave a tag if you have any suggestions regarding a new blog url? Try to come up with something that suits me.. I've got a few ideas but I'll continue to brainstorm until I think of one that I really like. Thanks! Going to create my new blog after I come back from camp..

christmas shopping

2008-12-12T00:46:00.002+08:00

I really should be sleeping now but never mind about that. Oops. I did not just yawn. Shall blog about yesterday (which is only an hour ago)..

Woke up this morning feeling kind of blue. Then I stumbled out of bed and dragged my feet across the room. Lol. Can't resist quoting one of my favourite song. Fine, I wasn't feeling blue but just reluctant to get out of bed. Woke up relatively early by my standards. Fine, anything before 12 noon is early. Made a detour to the library before meeting nes at harbourfront mrt.

Lunch was at Burger King and we both couldn't finish our burgers. What a waste. Walked around awhile and managed to find a Christmas present for my mum. A bit pricey but oh well, it's for my mum after all. Nes got tired so we went to Coffee Bean. Ohh.. For those we don't know, I'm on this latest craze to watch dance movies. So decided to spoil myself and buy a show that I've been eyeing for awhile. It's called "Flashdance". I'll watch it and tell you all if it's anything good. I won't mind if you guys bought me dance movies for Christmas. To make it easier for you all, I'll make a list of what I want..
1) Saturday Night Fever
2) Dirty Dancing
3) Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights
4) How She Move
5) Stomp the Yard

Anyway, back to my recount of the day. Watched Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. It's the 2nd NC-16 movie that I've watched. The movie was pretty decent and quite funny at certain times. After the movie, we walked around again and I managed to settle another 2 Christmas presents for my friends. So now, I've got another 4 people left on my Christmas shopping list. Dinner was Terra Cafe. The standard seems to have dropped. >.< Took the train with nes and decided to detour to the library again. After all, I had no time in the morning to browse for books. Found a new series to read and borrowed all 4 books in the series.

Think I'll go sleep down.. I want to continue reading but I can't turn on the room lights since I'm technically supposed to be sleeping now. Oh well. Someone get me a book light for Christmas? Lol.

self-indulgence

2008-12-09T23:40:00.002+08:00

Haha. I've got about 10 minutes to blog about today before I get chased off to sleep. It's technically not possible to recount everything within that time frame but I shall try. If all fails, there's always negotiating for a later bedtime. =p

Met up with melmel at Clementi before making our way to Bugis together. Grabbed a bite and a drink. I've learnt my lesson. Peppermint Ice Blended does not taste nice. I drank a few mouthful and couldn't take it anymore. Anyway, it turns out that some of the shops weren't open yet at 11 plus. Melmel found this halter dress at $10 but was reluctant to be the first one to buy something so I made her a promise that I'll buy something within 20 minutes. My first purchase of the day was this halter dress. Orange and brown colour combination. A bit short but then again, it's not like I really mind. Haha. And with that, I fulfilled my promise to melmel.

Went to this shop and spotted a really elegant dress. It's black with a purple base. Then realized that there's another colour for it: black with a blue base. Original price was $29.90 but the person discounted it to $26 for me and I bargained abit and got it at $25. Very satisfied with that dress. I finally have a formal dress. =) After that, walked around the second level when melmel suggested getting a manicure. The shop didn't seem very professional so we walked around abit more and found another shop. The price was a bit steep so we decided to continue walking around the first level again. Bought a brown casual dress since I've been looking for something like that and the price was cheap.

Found yet another manicure shop and since the price was quite reasonable, we decided to give it a go. Express manicure for the both of us and melmel decided to get her eyebrows trimmed too. So now my nails are this light purple shade. Actually we got a manicure to kill time cause I was waiting for Sphere to open. Bought a light purple shirt that said "Good friends are like stars, you don't always see them but you know they are always there." I'm still eyeing the royal purple shirts but waiting for new designs. That shade of purple is really nice.

Next stop: Far East Plaza. Shall recommend a shop. The shop name's Artiris and they have this really nice top that can be worn in 5 different ways. I saw it the last time I was with my mum but was deterred by the price. I tried the top on again but put it back on the rack after I was reminded of the price. For the first time in a long while, I actually ventured to the upper levels of Far East Plaza. Didn't know there was such nice shops on the 2nd and 3rd level. Saw this brown and pink polka dot sundress but melmel talked me out of buying it. But I really like it.. There was a flowy black dress that I liked but the price was too steep. Then when I find a black dress with a decent price, it's a bit too short and the back cutting wasn't that suitable. Realized that I didn't get anything from Far East so decided to pamper myself and buy that top from Artiris. Melmel came up with a decent justification. Since it can be worn 5 ways, I should treat it as 5 tops so I'm paying for 5 tops. And that makes the price reasonable. Haha. Ohh! It can be worn as a skirt too. Interesting, right?

Dinner after that at Subway, Shaw Centre. Watched Wild Child at 7:15pm after that. It's been ages since I caught a movie this late. Haha. The movie's pretty good and I find Alex Pettyfer to be quite cute. Alex is the love interest of the main character (Emma Roberts). I like Emma's hair after she had it cut in the movie! Lol. Anyway, didn't feel like going home so dragged melmel to Wheelock Place. Was so tempted to splurge and buy all 3 books in Karen Kingsbury's 9/11 series. But each book is like $30.95.. >.< Went to the DVD section and contemplated whether to get the "Wild Child" soundtrack. Didn't buy it but I don't mind having it. Probably put it under my wishlist. =p Melmel didn't let me get "The Lakehouse" DVD.. I knew I shouldn't have told her that Renee didn't let me buy it.

Last stop of the day: Wisma Atria. Actually we just went there since I wanted to check out Hula & Co but they were closed so we went to the busstop. And I caused melmel to miss her bus. Heehee. 502 came pretty soon and I reached home before 11pm. So guai, right? Haha. Anyway, the total damage for today was close to $120. 3 dress, 2 tops and I paid for melmel's necklace as a Christmas present. But discounting the necklace, $100 for 5 items isn't too bad. Especially since 3 of them are dresses.. =) Quite pleased with my purchases today but it would have been nice if I found a pendant or a pair of flats. Oh well, never mind.

It's getting pretty late. I really should go sleep. Going to my cousin's house tomorrow. Time to raid her cupboard again and see what clothes she doesn't want! =p Bye!

family time

2008-12-08T23:36:00.004+08:00

I really wish that I could blog about more interesting things but sadly, all I have to blog about are the happenings of my life. So brace yourself for another recount about my weekend. Haha. I'll try to make it interesting..

Can't really remember what I did on Saturday so ya.. But probably nothing significant. Managed to wake up on time to go for service on Sunday. Sighs. I'm still finding it hard to engage in worship and all. As in, there's just something off. I can't put it into words but ya.. Did a bit of reflection while Pastor Gary was preaching. I was still paying attention but just that I was thinking about a piece of advice that my friend gave regarding my attitude. Went for altar call and just broke down. Both Bro Terence and Bro Andy prayed for me and well, God really used them to speak to me. Still, I think it'll be awhile before my spiritual life is back on track. It's going to take awhile to really absorb what the adult leaders prayed over my life.

After that, went for lunch. Or rather, I watched the rest of my family eat lunch. I wasn't hungry so ya.. Just drank a cup of sugarcane juice and ate a few sticks of satay. Walked around and bought my brother's Christmas present. Went to Thompson Plaza later with my mum.. Saw this dress but after the salesgirl told me the price, I backed away. Grabbed a few buns since I finally got hungry and walked back to my grandma's place. Sat there for awhile before going back home and taking a nice long nap. My aunt recommended a place for dinner so we went searching for the place.. It's somewhere deep within NTU. The pricing's quite decent actually but too bad it wasn't open so we had to go somewhere else for dinner. After dinner, dad drove us to orchard road to see the lights. It's nothing spectacular.

Today.. Accompanied my mum to a lunch at her friend's place. It's basically a gathering of people from our old carecell in Chua Chu Kang. Sadly, there's no one around my age so I was pretty bored throughout the gathering. Oh well. Came home and wanted to use the computer but since Jon requested for a game of Monopoly, I couldn't say no.. At least not after my mum agreed too. This set was a China version so all the places are states in China. Heehee. I managed to own all 4 train stations and the 2 utilities. Sadly, my mum kept refusing to sell me Chengdu even after I offered her $8000 and it's only worth $2000. I needed Chengdu in order to complete a set. Sighs. Never mind. I still won. =p

Ok.. I'm being chased to sleep. Besides, I need to wake up relatively earlier tomorrow since I'm going out shopping. =) Expect an entry tomorrow recounting my shopping spree. Ohh. And I realized people don't know where my wishlist is.. Click on "theOWNER" and then you can view my wishlist. Will update it again if I can think of anything else.. =p

girls' night out

2008-12-05T01:20:00.003+08:00

Yesyes, I should be asleep at this time but I'm too awake. You'll find out why later.. Besides, I need something to do since I can't sleep and there's no one to message.

Woke up at around my usual time today. Heehee. I've been sleeping in way too much during the holidays. The only reason I get up nowadays is because I want to watch a drama serial that my mum is catching and she doesn't wait for me. So it's either get up and watch or sleep in.. =p Woke up, watched an episode before getting ready to go out. I was smart and called that silly girl to wake her up. Watched a bit more of the show before leaving the house. Took the bus to Clementi and it started pouring. Thank goodness it's sheltered all the way to sammi's house. Camped out at her house and used her pretty Mac for awhile til the rain got lighter.

I was right. Predicted that we won't be able to catch the movie in time. Oh well. Not much of a loss. We went to Heeren in search of food but sadly, the place we had in mind closed down. On our way to Paragon, we stopped at Starbucks since they were giving out free drinks from 5pm - 7pm. =) Dark Cherry Mocha isn't too bad. Stayed at Starbucks for awhile before walking to Paragon. We decided to treat ourselves and went to Sushi Tei. =) Started off with a plate of salmon sashimi. Generous serving and very fresh. Ordered a teriyaki beef steak which we shared. It was better than expected. Then the conveyor belt was taunting me with countless plates of salmon sashimi so asked sammi to help me pick a nice plate. We rejected countless plates cause the slices were either too small or didn't look that fresh. Finally found a plate that passed sammi's approval. Took a few pictures in Sushi Tei. There's this nice picture of me and my second plate of sashimi. =)

Went to Takashimaya after that. Kinokuniya! Recorded down the names of quite a few authors. Time to hit the library soon.. I want the "Study" series. The covers are all so nice. But the cover aside, the plot isn't too bad too. I like the main character. Could someone be really nice and buy the whole trilogy for me? Shall go update my wishlist. Anyway, what's up with authors and writing about vampires? Saw so many books about vampires. They're all together in this corner in the teenage fiction section. Too bad most of them are series and aren't completed. My limit is usually a trilogy or a quartet. Some of them look to be really really long. Made our way to Wisma after that. Sadly, nothing caught my eye at Hula & Co. Checked out Forever 21 but I think the clothes on their website are nicer. There was this pink tube but I think it's cheaper online so ya.. Tried on this long black dress at Gap but well, I didn't need it and the price was a bit steep so ya.. Last stop of the day: Wheelock Place. Found Footloose at Borders and finally gave in. Turns out that it was on discount so it only cost me $15. =)

As it was relatively early (or rather, I had a very late curfew), we debated between going for dessert at Holland Village or going to her house. Heehee. Actually, it was already 10pm by the time we reached the bus stop. But who cares? =p Anyway, Holland Village meant ice cream at Cold Rock while sammi's house meant Coke and Bailey's. The problem is, I wanted something sweet but I also wanted some alcohol. In the end, Coke sounded appealing enough and managed to win ice cream so went to her house. Coke tastes so good after you had nothing to drink for the past 3+ hours. Played with her Mac and looked through photos of hot guys and girls. Lol. Drank half a cup of Bailey's. It tastes like milkshake with alcohol. A bit too creamy but it's not too bad, I guess. Heehee. I think I'm developing a liking for alcohol. Oops? Oh well. Cabbed back home and was 5 minutes late. I was supposed to be home at 11:59pm.

Anyway, it was really enjoyable. Dressing up, cam-whoring, enjoying life. Both of us wore dresses and heels. Our feet ached like crazy by the time we reached the house but it's worth it. After all, the heels look good in pictures. =p Think I'm finally starting to get sleepy.. Goodnight!

talking at night

2008-12-02T22:08:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. It's a good thing I have free incoming. Been talking on the phone at night/early morning for the past two nights. It's been a long time since I did something like that. Then again, there are only two people who I talk to so late at night. But anyway, it's been great talking on the phone again with you. I've always enjoyed talking to you. Our conversation tends to range from personal stuff to really light-hearted and funny conversation. Squishy sounds cute. =p

Talked to my mum for quite awhile just now. She digressed a lot and told me more stuff about the divorce that I never knew. It really makes me wonder if I'll ever be willing to enter into a marriage. But then again, I don't think I'm that cynical or jaded about marriage. At least, I hope not. But yes.. Shall be random and mention how I watched 4 episodes of a drama serial today with my mum and brother and started to sleep when it came to the 5th episode. Can't help it. I was sleepy. Considering I've been sleeping at 3am for the past two nights.. Oops? =p

Just had a cup of ben & jerry ice cream. Cherry Garcia is my all-time favourite! Heehee. Realized that this year, my freezer's been constantly stocked with a tub of ben & jerry. Probably explains why I gained weight. Thankfully, I've lost most of it.

Heehee.. I think I'm just blogging so that I'll reach the 300th entry mark faster. On second thoughts, I think I don't need to start my new blog in the new year. It would be nice but I do have my reasons for wanting a new url. Oh well.. We'll see how?

love at first sight

2008-12-02T00:09:00.002+08:00

I'll digress a bit before blogging about my title, alright? I'm really not in the right mood to blog about that yet. I need to be a lot happier before I can do justice to that topic.

I knew it was going to be painful but I didn't expect it to be this painful. Thank God that I have friends like sammi and saac to see me through this. I guess it was all just a matter of time. We'll see how long it takes. I'm hoping that things will be back to normal soon but I have my doubts. I'll give myself a month and hopefully, that'll be enough. It's just as well that I'll be changing my blog url soon. As usual, I'll not publicize my blog url and will only inform a selected few. But anyway, that aside, I really hope that I'll be able to pull through and stand firm on what I've decided. It's going to be hard but at least I know that there are people that I can depend on. Doesn't matter if the list seems shorter than usual, I know that there are people I can rely on. Thanks.

Anyway, time to blog about happier things. =) Went over to my cousin's house for piano lesson and was trying to find a song to play for a recital that she's organizing. Ended up choosing "Silver Bells". It sounds nice and it's quite easy and short. =p Considering I have about 2 weeks to master it since I'll be away for camp and all. Lol. The piano lesson was cut short because she introduced me to an online shop and I ended browsing through for clothes. Then afterwards, we just gave up on the piano lesson and went for lunch with my mum and brother. Haha. We ended up at the wrong place but decided to eat there anyway. It's this buffet lunch thing at Royal Plaza, Scotts Road. The ginger bread creme bulee is delicious! =)

Went to DFS Galleria after that since my cousin wanted to look for a bag for her mum aka my auntie. Browsed around and we entered into Coach and -drumroll.. I fell in love. Haha. Saw this silverish bag that looked so good and had to try it on and look at my reflection in the mirror. It suits me so well. Of course, I had to see the price tag. Then my mum and cousin came over and actually encouraged me to buy the bag even with the hefty price. They were suggesting thinsg like calling my dad and all. Turns out it was the last piece so ya.. Listened to my cousin's advice and walked around awhile more in the hopes of finding something nicer. But the whole time, my heart was fixed on that bag. =p So ended up going back there after walking around Prada, Gucci, LV, etc.. You get the idea. Haha. The person gave us a 5% discount since it was the last piece then my cousin had a $40 voucher so ya.. But I'm not going to reveal the price. It's so pretty! Was taking pictures with it after that.. =p

Cousin got thirsty after that so since I was in a ridiculously good mood, treat everyone to drinks at Orange Julius. After finishing our drinks, we headed back to my cousin's house. Heehee. My cousin had this whole bag of clothes that she didn't want so my mum and I just helped ourself. =p My cousin would take out clothes from the bag and we would try them on. So eventually, I had this whole pile of clothes that I wanted to bring home. More dresses to add to my collection! =p But yes, we ended up bringing this really big bag home. Or rather, one big camping bag and one tote.

Reached home and used my computer for awhile before having dinner. Then went out again to scandal. Lol. I'm just joking. Met sammi at the library and quickly borrowed a few books before the library closed. 6 books in total. Why didn't they have the 2 books that I really really wanted? Pft. Oh well. I shall frequent the library more often in the hopes of finding those 2 books. "Dark Whispers" by Bruce Covillle and "Magic Study" by Maria N Snyder. I know I can always buy them but I don't like the cover of "Dark Whispers" and if I buy "Magic Study", I'll end up buying the whole series. Anyway, went to IMM after the library closed since we wanted to chat for awhile more. Milk Tea at Mos Burger. =) They hire just about anyone, I think. Lol. There was this guy who was really lame but amusing. Anyway, chatted for awhile before making my way home and reaching just before 11. Not too bad.. =)

Sighs. You know what? I think I'll finally address a paragraph to one person. I've always been wanting to do that but didn't really want to cause I was worried about the consequences. But yes.. Finding out how you feel about me makes me think I shouldn't have bothered caring about the consequences. I always treated you as a friend. I was already contemplating what to get you for your birthday. But couldn't you be more accepting? If I really wanted to, I could have been a lot worse. Forget it. I'll still treat you as a friend. But only because it's not worth losing a friend over something like that. But I'll be cold for quite awhile. After all, I doubt you want to talk to me anyway. And by the way, green doesn't suit you.

There. I've finally gotten some of things I wanted to say off my chest. Actually, there's more I want to say but enough for one night.. This entry has quite a few extremes. From blogging about one of the most painful decisions I had to make to blogging about the purchase that I'm most pleased with.. Oh well. Bye!

oops!.. i did it again.

2008-11-30T21:39:00.003+08:00

I'm in the mood to blog but I'm not sure what I want to blog about. As usual, the title's left blank for now since the content of this entry has yet to be determined. Warning: This entry might end up being very random and vague. I'll just see where my mind leads me..

Been slacking as usual for the past few days. Went to IMM for dinner on Thursday night and managed to settle one of my friend's Christmas present. One down, many more to go. Time to start shopping for presents. Who wants to accompany me? To make life easier for you all, I'll update my wishlist. Sighs. But there are some presents that I want that can't be bought.. But that aside, it's always been rather easy to buy me presents. Though of course, there are some presents that I treasure more than others. It's been a mahjong-packed weekend. Won quite a bit yesterday and proceeded to lose all of it today. As my mum said, what goes up must come down.

Enough recounting for now.. There are some things that I really want to blog about but I have no idea how to start or I don't want to reveal so much about how I feel and think. Sighs. I'm kind of torn right now. Someone I really respect adviced me on certain areas and while I know I should listen, a part of me doesn't want to. I guess I see no harm in living life the way I am now. Or rather, I have no idea how to even follow that piece of advice. Besides, it's only a matter of time. Eventually, I will end up listening to your advice. I guess I just want things to take their own natural course.

Ohh.. I've been looking around for new blogskins. I'll be creating a new blog after I hit 300 entries. Part of me hopes that I'll manage to hit that mark by the end of the year. After all, this is my 289th entry. Then I can start my new blog in the new year. =) Found quite a few decent blogskins but the problem is, I still like this current blogskin alot. Oh well.. Another little problem is that all the blogskins I've been finding tend to be a little emotional. Heehee. I can't help it. Lol. I just realized that I'll need to start thinking of a new url too. Hmm.. I'm open to suggestions. But nothing that involves my name, ya? Haha. Just thought of one that's a bit emotional. Sadly, it's taken. But yes, I need to think of something that suits me..

I'm stumped. There's so much on my mind but I don't know how to put them down into words. I feel like blogging about one of my pet topics but then I know I'll end up being bitter. After all, I just find things so unfair. But then again, isn't that how life is? Honestly, I think my life would make quite a decent drama serial. It's certainly cliche enough. While talking to my mum one day, she was like "You could be a scriptwriter." Lol. Maybe I'll try my hand at writing fiction again. I think I'll start with one-shots first. I don't think I have the stamina to write a full story. Or maybe I'll go back to writing poems. That big red book has been collecting dust. Used to just pen down random poems in there..

Yay! I just got a kiss from someone. Haha. Don't think scandalous. Who would be next to me at this time of the night? No prizes for guessing the identity of the person. I better reveal the person before anyone gets the wrong idea. Haha. It's Jonathan. Who else? Haha. Stole another kiss from him.

I think I'm just reluctant to end this blog entry. Listening to random Britney Spears songs now. Hmm.. Actually, there are quite a few things I want to do this holiday but they all require company. Or at least, I would prefer company. I'll list the things I want to do and the places I want to go.. See if there's any nice soul out there who would accompany me.
1) Play pool
2) Go bowling
3) Go to any of the beaches at Sentosa
4) Go Escape Theme Park
5) Watch "Bolt" and "Twilight"

Hmm.. I can't think of anything else for now. I guess I've blogged enough. There's more I want to say but I can't bear to be that open on this blog. It was a sad day when I stopped opening up. Oh well. My entries used to be more interesting, more emotional and more real. Then again, that's where my private blog comes in. =p Okie. Time to go update my wishlist. Bye!

quizzie

2008-11-28T17:09:00.003+08:00

Time started: 5:09pm, 28 Nov 2008

Name: Chermaine Koh
Shoe size: 6/7
Height: 167cm
Where do you live: Jurong East
Favourite drink: Lychee Ice Blended or Cookie & Cream Moo

Have you ever-
Been on a plane: Mhmm.
Fallen asleep at school: Oops? -hides away from renee's disapproving look
Broken someone's heart: Erm.. Erm..
Fell off a chair: Doubt it.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Haha. Does lying in bed and waiting for call count? I used to do that very often.
Saved emails: Yeps. I don't bother deleting emails.
Had chickenpox: When I was really young..
Had sore throat: Yeps. But very rarely..
Broken your nose: Nope. Thankfully.
Believed in love at first sight: Mhmm. But I'm a bit more cynical and jaded now..
Liked picnics: Yeps. Even if it is a bit troublesome..

What is your room like: Messy with 3 puzzle hanging on one wall. More puzzles to be hanged up soon. =)
Last thing you ate: A piece of dark chocolate. =)
Last person you danced with: That whole bunch of people at hostel formal dinner! =)
Last person who made you smile: Isaac
You last yelled at: Jonathan. Cos he was squashing me. But I didn't really yell.. =p

Today did you-
Talk to someone you like: No comments..
Kiss anyone: Haha. Haven't kissed my bro today so nope.
Get sick: Nope.
Miss someone: Hmm.. I'm skipping this question.
Eat: Of course. Had to eat lunch since I skipped breakfast. As usual.

Random-
Is there a person who is on your mind now?
Yeps. And I'm wishing that I could stop thinking of that person but oh well..

Do you have any siblings?
Yeps! One cute and adorable and naughty younger brother!

Do you want children?
Yeps. And I hope my future husband feels the same way..

Do you smile often?
Not often enough.. But I do have a reason to smile more nowadays. =)

Do you like your handwriting?
Mhmm. =)

Are your toenails painted?
Nope. I only paint them during special occasions.

Whose bed other than yours would your rather sleep in?
Haha. I'm tempted to give a scandalous answer. But nope, I'm skipping this question.

What colour shirt are you wearing now?
Pink! =) With two cute doggies.

What were you doing at 7 pm yesterday?
Chatting online and having 3 convos at the same time? =p

What's the best feeling in the world?
Hmm.. I can't think of something off-hand. A long hot shower ranks pretty high. Talking to close friends makes me feel pretty good too.

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Haha. Of course! Quite a few stuffed animals on my bed or near my bed..

What's under your bed?
I have no idea. I'll need to check. =p

Who do you really hate?
No one, I suppose. It's rare for me to hate someone.

What time is it now?
5:26pm.

Are you a friendly person?
Go ask my friends. But I think so..

Do you have pets?
Nope.

Where's the person you have feelings for right now?
I refuse to answer this question even though I do know where the person is.. =p

Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you?
Of course! I don't hold hands with just anyone, ya?

Do you sleep with the TV on?
Nope. No TV in my room..

Have you ever crawled through a window?
Haha. I have no idea. Doubt it though..

Are you too forgiving?
Haha. Yeps. Definitely. I don't really hold grudges?

Are you closer to your mother or your father?
Mum. After all, she raised me up.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Sighs. Must I answer this question? Ken wei.

How many people can you say you really loved?
Hmm.. I'll assume the question is talking about non-platonic love. Current count: 2.

Do you eat healthy?
Haha. Nope. I snack too much. =p

Do you still have pictures of you and your ex?
Mhmm. Quite a few pictures, in fact..

Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?
Mhmm. Then again, there's that one person whose words cut very deep.

If you're having a bad daay, who will you most likely go to?
Hmm.. One of my close friends?

Are you loud or quiet most of the time?
Quiet..

Are you confident?
Haha. I think I need to be more confident.

5 things I was doing ten years ago:
1. Enjoying Primary 1 life
2. Moving into my current house
3. Playing with jigsaw puzzles
4. Being hooked to the television
5. Reading books like there's no tomorrow

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Watch hana kimi
2. Play the piano again?
3. Find a way to get rid of the minor headache
4. Eat dinner
5. Sleep =p

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Give my family & close friends some of the money or buy them presents
2. Buy all the Shu Mizoguchi puzzles
3. Travel to Australia, New Zealand, Switzerland, USA, etc etc
4. Go shopping (Haha. I'm a shopaholic at heart.)
5. Save the rest of the money

5 of my bad habits:
1. Being emotional
2. Waking up late
3. Procrastination
4. Hesitate too much
5. Slacker

5 places I've lived in:-
1. Chua Chu Kang
2. My aunt's house
3. My current house
4. Uncle's plantation in Chiang Mai
5. Hotels in Malaysia

5 jobs I've had:-
1. Coding at Teacher's Network
2. Nothing else.
3. Ditto.
4. Ditto.
5. Ditto.

Shall be nice and not tag anyone.. Just help yourself to this quiz if you want. =p

made my night

2008-11-27T16:32:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. Was in the midst of blogging last night when someone opened a conversation with me and proceeded to make my night. =) The best part was that I was blogging about how I miss the person and lacked the courage to open up a conversation with him. Talk about coincidences.

Thanks so much for lending a listening ear. I really miss talking to you. And I still consider you as a friend, not just as a once-friend. I guess your advice means more because you know what I've been through and you really just want the best for me. Thanks for caring about me. I felt very comforted throughout the whole conversation. It's like what you say, you don't tell me what I want to hear, you tell me what I need to hear. You're probably the only one who could have gotten that promise out of me. I'll try my best to keep to that promise. Promises aren't meant to be broken. Really miss you alot and it was great talking to you. I'll be bugging you more often. =p

So I woke up in quite a good mood since I slept with a smile on my face. Then after lunch, proceeded to pack my cupboard.. Whoa. Not bad. I managed to squeeze everything into 3 shelves. Home clothes take up one shelf. Bottoms take up half a shelf. Tops take up another one and a half shelf. Placed all my threadless shirts and sphere shirts together. Total count? 4 threadless shirts and 6 sphere shirts. But I have another 4 shirts with funny sayings. =) Colour coded my shirts and I realize I have a lot of black and white tops. Time to inject more colour into my wardrobe. Ohh! I found the white skirt that I last wore in August 26 2006. Haha. Go figure what the occasion was. But anyway, realized it isn't that short.. It's about the same length as one of my other skirt. Oh well. I kept it and I might wear it in the future. =p

Now I'm just slacking while my mum rummages through one of my drawers.. =p Oh well. I'm no longer in the mood to pack. Shall pack my room, one section at a time.. Anyway, enough blogging for now. The whole purpose of this entry was just to blog about my friend's very good timing and how I actually packed my cupboad. =p

a day in heels

2008-11-26T00:59:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. I can't think of an entry title. As usual, I'll leave it blank for now and wait for inspiration to strike me. Shall be recounting what I did yesterday. Wanted to blog earlier but kept forgetting so ya..

Met mei at school and made our way to Plaza Singapura. Haha. I was amused by nes's reaction to my hairstyle. She almost didn't recognize me. Anyway, met aaron at Plaza Singapura and had Burger King for lunch. Shellie joined us and we went to Cathay. Watched Magadascar 2 again. Oh well. What's up with me and watching movies twice? Ohh! I bought jelly beans and finished half the packet during the movie. It's not a lot, ok? Considering I only bought 101 grams.. Walked around awhile after the movie before having dinner at Long John Silver.

Annoying 502 would have taken 48 minutes to arrive so I decided to take another bus. Didn't feel like going home so early so I decided to go meet a friend for awhile. It was on the way home anyway. Talking under the red sky about random things. Sadly, all good things have to come to an end. Had to make my way home so ya.. But it was enjoyable. We should do that more often. =)

~One moment in time..

one moment in time

2008-11-24T20:06:00.003+08:00

This phrase cropped up during a conversation with a good friend and we agreed that it would be an appropriate entry title. So yeps..

Nothing beats cuddling up in bed with a comforter and a nice soft pillow. Though I've got to admit that long hot showers serve as pretty good motivation to get out of bed. Wasted so much hot water though.. =p It's so easy to lose track of time when you're having fun. That was what happened today. I really need to improve my math. I couldn't count past 3 or was it 4? Lol.

Hmm.. Do I really look that good with my new hairstyle? Someone described it as "hot". Lol. But to be a little vain, I did look pretty decent today. White long-sleeved shirt, black skirt and heels. Now all I lack are contacts.. Haha. Nah. I shaln't bother. They're too troublesome. Ohh. That same someone told me some pretty interesting pieces of information. A bit shocking.. And stop trying to be a matchmaker! Lol.

Anyway, think I'll end my entry here. Mum calling me to go eat apple.. =p

at long last

2008-11-23T18:26:00.002+08:00

Haha. My entry title refers to two different things. I'll blog about it in due time.

"Alvin and the chipmunks" is a cute show. Watched it on Friday at home since my brother got it as a birthday present. Anyway, I was slacking alot on Friday. Yesterday was a bit more productive. Went down to Yishun to advice my cousin about her choice of secondary schools. It was pretty fun actually. Looking at schools and crossing them out based on CCAs. Managed to come up with a decent choice of 6 schools in the end after a lot of reshuffling and crossing out.

Went to Junction 8 after that. It's been ages since I went there.. My beloved Esprit. Saw a really nice white shirt and a black jacket. The problem is I don't need any of those and it's way past my budget. Went to Video-Ezy and ended up getting my dad to buy me 3 shows. "Before Sunrise", "Before Sunset" and this chinese show.. Heehee. I was supposed to buy him a show in return but he didn't see anything that he liked so ya.. =p Walked around a bit more before having roti prata for dinner. After that, the kids did some art & craft thing while I dragged my mum window shopping. Went to OP and wanted to buy either a pair of shorts or a skirt. Turns out that the skirts were all skorts. >.< Even though the design was nice, I refuse to buy skorts so ya.. Saw a denim skirt which was quite a nice shade but they didn't have my size. Bah. Oh well. Decided not to buy anything in the end..

Finally managed to wake up in time today for service. Haha. Guess it helps that I needed to submit my registration form for camp. =p I miss worship. Hmm.. But it'll be awhile before I can fully immerse myself into worship again. There are still things holding me back. Somehow, I think camp would be good for me. Anyway, went to my grandma's house after service. Haha. Suddenly felt like doing something about my hair so I was complaining to my mum that my hair was too messy and all.. So after a bit of deliberation, went to the hairdresser opposite my grandma's place. Haha. The guy must have thought I was crazy. Only went there a few weeks ago. We discussed awhile about what to do with my hair and finally came to an agreement. I can't wait to see the look on your faces when you all see me. =) That should be enough motivation for going out with me.

Anyway, I'm back home and I shall slack the rest of tonight away.. =)

jon's birthday

2008-11-20T21:02:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Jonathan! =)

Haha. That was utterly pointless since he doesn't read my blog. And no, for those blur people out there, jon's not my boyfriend or scandal. He's my beloved and highly cute younger brother.

Mum went out to buy breakfast from McDonalds and woke me up at 9 plus but since I didn't sleep well last night, I stayed in bed a little longer. Ate breakfast and slacked around for awhile before heading to Jurong Point. Finally wore one of the new tops that I bought recently. It's pretty nice and a bit too short. =p Oh well. Anyway, watched Magadascar 2. It's quite funny. Worth watching even if the movie is a little short. Had teabreak at Delifrance before going around toy stores to let Jon pick out his birthday presents. After that, walked around awhile more. I wish Esprit things were cheaper.. They're so nice. Haha. Get me Esprit vouchers for Christmas. =p Anyway, saw a silver bag and decided to buy it since my current bag is falling apart. Then went to Ice Lemon Tee and saw this top that looked good on the mannequin so tried it on. Let's just say it fits me very nicely. It's this sleeveless top with black and white print. I seem to be favouring that combination lately. I have one dress that probably has a similar print. Anyway, mum was nice and paid for my top. =) It was a bit past my usual budget for a top. Normally, I don't pay anything past $20 for a top but this was low-30.. >.<

Came back home after that and I've been slacking ever since.. Realized I haven't wore a lot of the things that I've bought. Time to start taking them out of the plastic bag and wearing them. But I need to go out in order to wear them. Get the hint? Lol. I've been blogging more about my purchases nowadays. A bit girlish but hey, it's fun. =p I'm enjoying shopping nowadays and I have a better idea of what suits me and all so ya.. Anyway, shall end this entry now. Bye!

time of my life

2008-11-19T18:20:00.002+08:00

Haha. Suitable title? Someone says I've been having the time of my life and while I won't exactly use that phrase, I guess I'm in no position to disagree.

Met up with sammi at our usual hangout yesterday evening. But before that, I had to rush down to the bank before it closed and ended up having an hour to kill before sammi arrived. So went around browsing books and finally settled down with a relatively thin book. Finished it just as sammi arrived. Perfect timing, isn't it? Browsed around with her again and decided to pick up this series that involves a mum who's also a demon hunter. The author's pretty good. Her name's Julie Kenner for those who are interested. Settled down at the cafe with our books and ordered drinks, chicken chunks and fish & chips. Decided to go for something fruity and had Peach Dream instead of my usual Cookies & Cream Moo. =p

Why do the topics of conversation always revolve around the same few things? Lol. Oh. There was a change though. Sammi actually said she was proud of me. Haha. For once, the roles are reversed. She's guai while I'm .. not. It's so wrong that she's proud of me but I'm glad that she is. And dear girl, do you always have to remind me of how I need to check my eyesight? Glad that I made your night though. You were so amused. =p Lol. I'm still amused at the fact that you're proud of me. It's so rare.

Haha. I'm going to start being vague again. Hmm.. I think I would be pretty good at taboo. I can't use certain words and phrases in this entry because they'll reveal too much and I'm still not comfortable with being open on this blog. But that doesn't mean I can't blog about it. It's a challenge and well, I love challenges. Hmm.. I think white and brown go together quite well. What do you think of that colour combination? Ohh.. One should always consider the alternatives. If you can't do things one way, then find another option. Another point to note, it's not good to be dehydrated. Haha. Then again, I don't think drinking coke counts. Oh well. It's better than nothing. 5 is such a nice number. I apologize for killing trees through excessive tissue paper usage. Think I need to put another pack of tissue paper in my bag.

Lol. The previous paragraph wasn't really to my satisfaction but it'll do for now.. Anyway, talk about coincidences. What were the chances of meeting people I know while taking the train? I'm not complaining. At least that meant I had company on the train ride. Hmm.. Actually, I never really believed in coincidences. But then again, Singapore is quite small.. Ok. Need to go eat dinner now. Bye!

chalet stay

2008-11-16T21:36:00.002+08:00

Finally have the time and the mood to blog. This entry will probably just recount the past few days with the main highlight being the chalet @ downtown east.

Slept at 5am on friday then went down for flag-raising before going back up to catch up on sleep. Got chased back downstairs at 11am by renee since she wanted some company. Faraday won again! =) Went to Suntec for some food & technology fair. There was also a book fair so spent most of my time there. Bought one chinese novel. The title was <<再痛，也要谈恋爱>>. Then there was this whole series that looked interesting but I think I'll go to the library and try to find the author. Bought my cousin's christmas present as well. Then went back home and slacked the rest of the day away.

Saturday.. Slept in til my usual time before getting ready to go Downtown East. My family rented a chalet for one night to celebrate my bro's birthday in advance. Waited for my cousins to arrive before I escorted them to Wild Wild Wet. The problem of being the oldest is that I have to take care of the kids. Oh well. They're quite easy to manage. Hmm.. I really think I should have brought along a book since there's this feature called "Shiok River" where you just cruise along on this float and let the water bring you around. Perfect for reading and sun-tanning. Lol. Then tried this slide thing and couldn't help but scream. Almost vertical drop down this slide.. >.< Stayed at Wild Wild Wet til it was closing time then went back to the chalet to wash up before joining the rest of my family at the barbeque. The sausages and chicken wings were good! =) Ohh. There was this interesting conversation topic. Can people still be friends after they break up? Lol. It's quite obvious what my answer is, ya? Anyway, managed to catch up with my cousin and talked about some interesting stuff. Too bad she couldn't stay. Wasn't used to sleeping on the chalet bed and ended up messaging til around 3am before the person had to go sleep..

Woke up quite grumpy today due to the lack of sleep. But eventually, I was a bit more awake and accompanied my cousins to the arcade. The DDR machine at Downtown East is quite bad. Had to stamp down really hard. Think the sensors aren't really working.. Played for nearly 2 hours before we went for lunch. After that, made our way home. Slacked for awhile before going for dinner with my father. Oh well. It went better than expected. Went to his friend's shop again and had really fresh salmon sashimi. Ohh. Tried some sake. Ended up drinking one shot glass worth of it. Not too bad. My cheeks didn't get flushed or anything. Was tempted to drink more. =p Anyway, my father was nice and agreed to let me buy a jigsaw puzzle and frame. So went IMM and got another Shu Mizoguchi puzzle. It's mainly green and blue and the picture is of this girl and guy in a shell-like thing. Been eyeing it for awhile already..

Anyway, I'm done recounting. Hmm.. The holidays have started. Think I'll probably just end up being a couch/bed potato for most of the holiday. Could some kind soul please go out with me? I'm really, really free. =p Haha. Oh well. Meanwhile, I'll try to find a job in IMM.. -crosses fingers.

last night

2008-11-14T03:07:00.002+08:00

RENEE RAWKS! (That was my mei being ego. =p)

It's the last night or to be precise, the last morning in hostel. That probably explains why I'm still up at this time. Tried to sleep at around 2 plus but got too restless and started packing stuff. Went back to bed again but decided to try to stay up as late as possible. Let's see if I can get mei to stay up with me too. =p

Hostel stay's been quite slack for me considering I only moved in for good somewhere around August. Before that, I was either at home or only staying for 2 days per week.. But it's been enjoyable in its own way. Being able to come back up to rest in between lessons. Slacking after the exams have ended. Ordering food in on mondays. The mahjong sessions.. Sadly, all this will end today. At least we played one final game just now.

Hard to believe that tomorrow will probably be the last time I see the seniors around. The pioneer batch is finally graduating. Makes me kind of reconsider ponning sports day. It'll be nice to just talk to those few that I'm closer to and spend some time with them before they graduate. There's one person in particular I won't mind talking to but I guess I'll just be contented with the knowledge that I've done all I could. Still.. I know I'm persistent even though I don't show it often. And this is one issue I've always been quite persistent on even as much as I try to deny it. Oh well. I'll see how, I guess? But seriously, everything still feels so unresolved. Pft. Why am I always back to this same topic?

Change of topic. Back to blogging about hostel stay and this school year in general. What a roller-coaster ride. The first few months were probably the toughest times in my life. Found out more about myself than I ever wanted to find out. Lost something really dear to me but at the same time, God answered one of my prayers. Just that some things aren't meant to last, ya? Oh well. Everything in its time..

I'll wait til the end of the year before having my usual entry that covers my reflection and summary of the year. Time to start thinking of a word to describe the entire year.. Anyway, think I better stop blogging now. I'm in too contemplative a mood. At this rate, this entry might get a bit more emotional than I intented it to be.

原来

2008-11-12T23:45:00.002+08:00

There isn't really a purpose to this entry but it doesn't really matter. At times, it's nice to be clueless and just drift around and see where it all leads to. Be it for blogging or in life, sometimes it's nice to just relinquish all control and just see what life has in store for you..

當世界不知不覺的變了
有時候我懷念以前的我
These two lines are the starting lines for a song in "Romantic Princess" and well.. They do describe how I'm feeling. I miss the person I used to be. I used to be so much livelier, used to be able to find joy in the simplest things and used to be able to love with all my heart. The sad thing is, the only semblance of my old self is the last point.. And honestly, that's the one thing I don't need now. What's the point in loving with all my heart when it's all one-sided? Be it for platonic or non-platonic relationships.. I've started to remember how it's like to love with all my heart and well, it's the worst timing possible. Honestly, I rather love someone who returns my love. I guess I know how you felt then.. >.<

Great. When did I start being so open on my public blog? Oh well. It's not like anyone actually comments on the more sensitive content on my blog. Eventually, this entry will be forgotten just like any other entry. Great. Suddenly, I'm reminded of someone who actually bothered to read all my past entries when he first met me. Fine. So if I do meet anyone like that again, then this entry might actually be read again some time in the far future. What are the chances?

Sighs.. Have I mentioned that I have really weird dreams? >.< And lately, it's been centering around either one of them or like the most recent dream, it includes both of them. Stupid subconscious. Leave me alone already. I don't want to waste any more energy trying to figure out what the dreams signify. The only thing I take comfort in is that my dreams don't come true. The only ones that come true are those that involve someone leaving me. How annoying, right? Oh well. But yes.. Interesting dream. Why do I always seem to be just that little bit too late?

Perhaps it's time to end this blog entry. Wasn't aiming for a long entry. Just wanted to let the words flow.. And well, I'm not surprised at how this entry turned out. It's been awhile since I had one of these kind of entries. Think I'll turn in early. Hopefully, my subconscious decides to spare me and let me have some peaceful sleep. Goodnight.

~原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你

life of a slacker

2008-11-10T22:33:00.003+08:00

This poor blog has been neglected for a few days. Time to recount what's been happening.. And while I'm at it, think of a suitable entry title.. >.<

Cluster outing on Friday. Had buffet lunch at concorde hotel. The potato dish is nice! Had 2 rounds of dessert and 1 round of ice cream. What can I say? I have a sweet tooth. Had some time to kill before the movie so played a few rounds of pool with shellie. Won 3 out of 5 rounds. Actually, I only won because she kept sinking the black ball into the wrong hole. =p Made our way to Shaw after that and got a Dark Cherry Mocha from Starbucks. =) Watched HSM 3 again. Didn't really want to watch Quantum of Solace so decided that re-watching HSM wasn't that bad.. And yeps, it was pretty enjoyable actually. Then again, I've always had a soft spot for HSM. =p

Can't remember how I spent Saturday.. I must be getting old. =p Oh well. Probably playing Chrono Trigger and reading. Yeps. I think that was all I did. Somehow, I managed to sleep in til an insane time on Sunday. Don't ask. It was late enough to the point that my mum was wondering if I was sick. Let's just say it's a few hours past noon. =p After lunch, watched Romantic Princess for a few hours. Had dinner then went back to watching the show. 5 episodes in one day. =p

Today.. Slept in until my mum called. Met her then went for the doctor's appointment. After that, felt like shopping so asked my mum if we could go out. Eventually, we ended up at Far East Plaza. I was telling myself not to buy any tops but the first thing I bought was a t-shirt. Lol. This shop sold this top that could be worn in 5 different ways but I ended up opting for just a normal t-shirt. Oh well. Then came across this v-necked dress and really liked the pattern so ended up buying it. Then came across a turquiose halter dress with this glittering centre-piece and well, it fits quite nicely so bought that together with another babydoll top. =p Had to buy a tube for the v-necked dress so ya.. And decided there's no harm in getting another tube just in case. Heehee. So ya.. Total damage of the day: 2 tops, 2 dresses and 2 tubes. Let's not talk about the cost, shall we? =p But it's not too bad lah.. The items were reasonably priced. The dresses were 20+ and the tops were 10+..

Pft. I dislike my mum. She persuaded me to get my eyebrows trimmed. And I have to tell you, it hurts! And I don't see the difference. >.< Called them and didn't get anything resolved. Complained to my mum and she managed to get them to agree to giving me a free set meal as long as I claim it within the next 3 days. Ended up having cup noodles for dinner. =p Oh well.. Been slacking the rest of my day away. I'm so tempted to skip the talk tomorrow at 1pm. =p Haha. See how, I guess. I just want to slack.. Hmm.. I just realized I need to start wearing my dresses soon instead of just buying them. Lol. I need to find an appropriate occasion to wear them. Oh well. Anyway, just go back to playing games and reading fanfics.. =p

black or grey?

2008-11-05T21:45:00.002+08:00

I shaln't explain my title today. And no, it's got nothing to do with what colour t-shirt to buy. Lol. But I still persist that it's grey. =p

Hmm.. Warm showers are really nice. To feel the water beating down ur back and all. Nothing is as refreshing as a nice, long shower. Never tried showering with water at that temperature but then again, there's a first time for everything.

Why is it that I'm always happy for all the wrong/warped reasons? Lol. Oh well. Interesting how things turned out. Countless count-downs but it didn't matter at all in the end. 10 min stretched to 11, 13, 14 and eventually, I just lost count..

Today went well.

job-hunting

2008-11-04T20:27:00.002+08:00

Haha. Yet another totally original entry title. Oh well. What do you expect? I realize I've been spending the first few lines of my blog entry commenting about my entry title or lack of. Lol. Guess it's just a habit? But yes, you can probably guess what the entry will be about..

Met my mum and jon when leaving the school so they ended up going to Plaza Singapura with me so I had company on the bus ride. When Glo arrived, she wanted to see jon so we went to Lego to find my mum and jon. Ended up buying a birthday present for jon there. Lol. Oh well. It was affordable. Went to Burger King for lunch and tried something else instead of my usual BK Chicken. Mushroom Swiss isn't that bad but I don't really like the mushrooms that much.. Strange, right? Went to get jelly beans after that.. I'm not sure how much I bought but it cost around $5+ so probably 100+ grams? That's quite little actually..

After that, walked around level by level to look for job openings. Tried almost all the fast food outlets but they all required a minimum of 3 months. Also checked out other random shops. There was one shop which required me to stare at the security camera since the manager wasn't in and they wanted to record down my face. Lol. Then just wrote down my name, age and contact number. Ajisen Ramen's pay was promising but I would have to work til 10pm so parents didn't really approve. Filled up quite a few application forms during the whole of today. And you wouldn't believe how many shops are hiring.. And I went into every single one of them. The most promising one was also the last shop I stepped into to inquire about a job opening. Manhattan Fish Market. The pay's not as high as Ajisen but the hours are more flexible. Plus, the person who interviewed me was quite nice. So I'm kind of hoping I get that job. Should know by tomorrow.. =p

Went Gelare after that since today's Tuesday. For those who don't know, waffles are 1/2 priced on Tuesday at Gelare. Wanted to get waffle with chocolate chip but they didn't have so just got a waffle with a scoop of oregon mint fudge ice cream. Was super full after that. Shopped at Precious Thots for awhile and bought some things. Gan Jie and Shao came to find us there! =) Walked around randomly with no purpose in mind until we ended up at KFC. Shared a large mashed potato and cheese fries. It's fun to steal from other people. =p Went to carrefour to buy apple juice before finally heading back to hostel. Bah. If only I didn't have to be back by 8.. Would have stayed out longer with them. It's been so long since I last saw them. Oh well. Read on the way back and got a bit nausea. Stupid move, ya? =p

Now I'm back in hostel and wondering what to do with the rest of the night. Hmm.. Probably just read the night away and munch on jelly beans at the same time. =p

refusal

2008-11-02T23:22:00.002+08:00

Great. As usual, my mind refuses to work and come up with a decent entry title. Instead, it's just being overwhelmed with feelings of boredom. Don't exactly look forward to this coming week since there's nothing to do and I'll probably be cooped up in hostel. Oh well. Just two more weeks of staying in hostel. And I've got to admit, hostel does have its perks. Not much, but enough.. Hmm.. Maybe I'll make a trip down to vivocity or plaza singapura to restock my supply of jelly beans. Need something to munch on while I watch shows or read book after book. Could someone just please ask me out? Lol. I sound quite desperate, ya? Haha. But yes, it's no fun going out alone. Ok. This whole paragraph was quite pointless.. Time to change topic.

Played mahjong yesterday and today and managed to win a decent amount. =) Haha. I had to treat them to egg tarts, custard puff and chicken wings though.. But my winnings made up for it. Thankfully. Ohh. I cut my hair today. Took a break from mahjong and went to find the same guy that styled my hair for hostel boarding dinner. He didn't recommend cutting it short so just trimmed my hair abit and then persuaded me to try a treatment. So after that, my hair felt so much silkier. =) Ohh. My hair was quite straight after it was blown dry and I quite liked it. Kind of reminded me of Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries after her make-over. Lol. No, I'm not being ego. But yes, I look quite different with straight hair.

Pft. I'm getting into the habit of blogging about a particular issue then deleting the entire paragraph. Still don't have the courage to blog about this issue on my public blog, I guess. Then again, some things are better left unsaid. Lol. I'm almost tempted to delete the previous few lines since they serve no purpose. Oh well. I guess I'll just leave it. But yes, it's been awhile since I felt that way. And to think that you would be the one to cause me to feel that way.. Sighs. Notice how I'm not even saying what's the feeling? I guess I don't even want to admit it anymore. I already talked about it and that was hard enough.

I want to continue blogging but not sure what to blog about. Hmm.. Should I just pick one of my pet topics and blog about it? Lol. Nah.. And honestly, I'm starting to wonder if there's any significance behind my dreams. One particularly vivid and realistic one on thurs and another one last night. Last night's dream was just amusing. But I'm not sure how I'll describe my response to thursday's dream.. It was the little things in the dream that made it so real. Sighs. I can still remember it now. But then again, it doesn't really matter. Not like my dreams actually come true.. The only dreams that vaguely come true are those regarding someone leaving me. Sighs. Just my luck, right?

Think I'll end off my entry now.. But still haven't thought of a suitable entry title. Sighs. I need some inspiration. And to think that I used to enjoy having a blogskin which showed entry titles but nowadays, it's becoming more and more of a hassle. Think my mood isn't helping.. Got it. Not the best of titles but it's mildly acceptable.

i want it all

2008-10-31T20:56:00.002+08:00

Haha. Decided that "HSM 3" was too unoriginal for a blog entry title and I didn't want something mundane like "friday night" so ya.. The title's actually a song from the soundtrack of HSM 3. Haha. For those who follow the HSM craze, it's actually a duet between ryan and sharpay.

Went to watch HSM 3 with my bro and mum just now. Shaln't spoil the movie for those who haven't watched it yet but it's not bad. The songs sound a lot better when you actually watch the movie and the choreography is spectecular, as usual. =) But sadly, it's not going to be easy to try to learn any of the dance moves. I'm not that dedicated as to watch the show countless times just to get the moves. I'll wait for the dance-along. =p

Hmm.. It's hard to believe that the HSM craze will draw to a close soon. At the start of the show, I got a bit overwhelmed by emotions. Guess it's because HSM holds quite a special place in my heart. It represented all that was good in Year 3. How I wish we could perform "We're all in this together" for one last time. Watching the actors dance, I miss those days rehearsing. Oh well. Out of the 4 of us, think I'm the only one who still enjoys the HSM craze that much..

Great. I just deleted an entire paragraph because I don't dare to blog about that issue. Tsktsk. Thought I had more courage. Then again, I never did like blogging about certain things on my public blog. Especially when I don't know the possible consequences. Oh well. Think I'll end my blog entry here. By the way, still don't mind watching HSM 3 again with you all. You know who you are. =p

nothing

2008-10-30T20:56:00.002+08:00

Was in a particular mood and decided to start surfing the Internet for random quotes.. Came across this very interesting one. "I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you." Just felt like I had to record it down somewhere.. Mhmm.

I'm having writer's block, I think. Oh well. Life's been pretty mundane lately. Waking up, skipping lunch, reading online stories or books, watching drama serials.. Though I haven't been watching much actually, just not in the mood. Even if the guys in the show are pretty cute/shuai. Oh well. Anyone wants to catch HSM 3 next week? Probably on Tuesday but my brother will probably be tagging along.

I want to blog but I have no idea what to blog about.. Oh well. Never mind. This shall be a very, very short entry. Think I'll go downstairs later.. Need some time to clear my head.

fleeting happiness

2008-10-29T18:58:00.002+08:00

Warning: This entry will be quite nonsensical and probably be even more difficult to understand than my previous entry.

Happiest moment. Watching the sunset. Everything fades away.
Temptation. Lack of pride. Being of this world.
Repetition. Hopes. It all boils down to you.

Happiness is fleeting, isn't it? Then again, at least there was happiness.

Things aren't always that simple, you know? Perhaps you view the world in black and white but I see the shades of grey. I'm not criticizing you. Just stating the difference in our perspective.

~Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

for all the wrong reasons

2008-10-28T20:19:00.003+08:00

This shall be a pretty short entry considering that I just blogged yesterday..

Someone commented that I looked happier today. I didn't want to agree and tried finding examples when I was happier. It's so wrong that I'm at my happiest today. Oh well. My life was never that normal anyway. Even the most warped things actually seem to make sense.

Pride. What would have happened if I didn't make that decision? Then again, I suspect it was just a matter of time. It was inevitable, wasn't it? Haha. Or am I just trying to convince myself? Lol. Oh well. It doesn't matter, does it? What's done is done.

Good luck trying to understand what the previous paragraph was about. In fact, this whole entry wasn't supposed to make sense to anyone. Or rather, only two people should be able to understand this entry apart from me. Lol. I really can't stand the word "victory". I wonder why..

HSM weekend

2008-10-27T21:40:00.002+08:00

Listening to the HSM 3 soundtrack now and well, I can't wait to watch the show. Probably end up catching it with my bro next week or something. I already promised him I'll bring him to watch the movie after his exams end. Interesting how the craze still continues after so long.. Oh well. Anyone wants to join us? We'll probably catch it on 4th Nov or something.

Celebrated my dad's birthday today and went Ichiban Sushi at IMM. =) Yummy. Thankfully, my stomach could keep the food down. Went Popular after that and my mum ended up paying for 2 CDs: "Beautiful Songs" and "High School Musical 3: Senior Year" soundtrack. I got the former and my bro got the latter. Not bad, ya?

Ohh.. Went library with sammi yesterday night and borrowed another 5 more books. =) The chicken chunks are really nice. Cookie & cream moo is <3. Talked about the usual random stuff. I really do envy you, you know? Pass one or two of them over. =p Oh well. Perhaps that was why I should have entered a JC instead..

Lol. "We're all in this together" is playing now but it's a graduation mix. It's a lot slower.. Think I still prefer the original. Hmm.. Most of the time, the original's always better. Somehow, why do I think I'm not even referring to the song anymore? Then again, I have no idea what I'm referring to either. Ok. I'm starting to not make sense. That means it's time to end this entry and go shower. Bye!

tagged again

2008-10-25T22:28:00.002+08:00

Haha. I was bored so decided to do the second quiz that Renee tagged me tonight.

1. What colour is your phone?
Silver and black.

Who is the first person who comes under the letter M?
Ma ma. My grandma's hse no.

3. Who's the last person you called?
Duty Officer. Lol.

4. Who was your last missed call from?
Duty Officer. Lol. Not again.

5.Who's the 2nd person who missed call you?
Kenwei.

6. Who's speed dial 2?
I don't use speed dial.

7. Who's the 3rd person who comes under J?
Jared. Some guy in church.

8. Who was your last received call?
Yi ma. My aunt.

9. Who's speed dial no. 4?
No one.

10. What is your wallpaper?
A view from a temple in Chiangmai. You can actually see the clouds on the top of the mountain.

11. How many text messages do you receive?
236 messages in 10 days.

12. Who's speed dial no. 8
No one.

13. What does the 5th message of your inbox say?
"Haha interesting, u know everyones enlisted super early!"

14. Who's the first person who comes under B?
Benjamin.

15. Who was your last text message (from)?
kenwei.

16. Name every person you have text messages from:
I refuse to answer this question.. =p

17. Have you seen the 101 Chuck Norris facts?
Nope.

18. Who's the 3rd person under U?
No one. Haha.

19. What does the 3rd message in your outbox say?
It's empty.

20. Who is the first name on your phonebook?
Aaron.

Name 20 people you can think of right now. Dont read the questions until you've named 20 people. At the end of the quiz, choose 5 people to do this
1. sammi
2. renee
3. nes
4. shellie
5. kenwei
6. lynn
7. gloria wong
8. hui shi
9. debz
10. lynnette
11. mel
12. saac
13. shao
14. tian cheng
15. aaron
16. cassie
17. sis fran
18. bro andy
19. cassandra (from church)
20. gloria tan

1. How did you meet 14?
Tian Cheng? Sports day in Year 3.

2. What would you do if you never met no. 1?
Never met sammi? I wouldn't be as crazy but life would be so much more boring.

3. What if 9 and 20 dated?
Debz and my cousin? They're not les.

4. Will 16 and 17 date?
Cassie and sis fran? They're not les.

5. Describe 7.
Glo.. Hmm. Great friend who's too logical and doesn't really like guys.

6. What would you do if 18 [mary-anne] confessed to you that he/she liked you?
It's so wrong. He's my adult leader and he has a girlfriend already.

7. Who is 9 going out with?
I'm not sure..

8. when was the last time you talked to 13?
Shao? It's been awhile..

9. who's no. 2's favourite band/singer?
Haha. I have no idea. Mei listens to quite a few artistes.

10. would you ever date 4?
Haha. Nope. I'm not les.

11. would you ever date 1?
Ditto. I'm not les.

12. is 19 single?
I think so.

13. Would you ever be in a relationship with 11?
She wishes. Lol. =p

14. School of 3?
NUSHS.

15. where does 6 live?
Heehee. I have no idea. She told me just awhile back only.

16. what is your favourite thing of 5?
The way he sings along to songs on the radio. It's very amusing.

17. Have you ever seen 1o naked?
Obviously not.

Yay! Another quiz completed. Anyway, being chased off to sleep so bye!

triple tagged

2008-10-25T21:46:00.002+08:00

Lol. Aaron, Renee and Lynn all tagged me to do the same quiz. So looks like I have to answer some of the questions three times. =p

1) The last person who tagged you is: Aaron, Renee and Lynn

2) Your relationship with him/her is:
Aaron: Didi
Renee: Close friend aka mei
Lynn: Close friend

3) Your impressions on him/her is:
Aaron: playful and a great friend to have
Renee: pro and a nice friend to talk to
Lynn: nice and sensible, a lot like me. =p (I'm not being ego..)

4) The most memorable thing he/she had done for you:
Aaron: Made me laugh
Renee: Be a great friend for me throughout all these years
Lynn: Lent me a listening ear

5) The most memorable thing he/she said to you:
Aaron: Can't remember off-hand
Renee: Haha. So many. How to remember?
Lynn: Some good advice during a particular time

6) If he/she becomes your lover you will:
Aaron: Lol. I don't do incest. (What's up with all those disbelieving stares? =p)
Renee: Haha. She's my lover already. Rofl.
Lynn: She has someone else already. So sad, right? =p

7) If he/she becomes your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be:
Lol. I'm not answering this question.

8) if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
I really hope it never happens.

9) the most desired thing you wanna do for him/her now is:
Aaron: I have no idea. Up to him to request something?
Renee: Come up with a very nice birthday present for her.
Lynn: Ditto. Get a nice birthday present for her. After all, it's her 18th.

10) your overall impression on him/her is:
Aaron: nice to be around.
Renee: pro and really needs to learn to accept that. =p
Lynn: very nice and mature.

11) how you think people around you feel about you:
Very emotional and random but nice. I think. =p

12) the character you love about yourself is:
Hmm.. I try to give my all.

13) on the contrary, the character you hate about yourself is:
Tendency to lapse into emo-ness..

14) the most ideal person you wanna be is:
Myself with my flaws reduced a bit..

15) pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you:
Haha. There's no need to do this quiz if you don't want to. I'm listing the names for the next set of questions..
1. sammi
2. renee
3. nes
4. shellie
5. kenwei
6. lynn
7. gloria wong
8. hui shi
9. debz
10. lynnette

16) who is no.6 having a relationship with?
Lol. She's not in a relationship yet but it's just a matter of time.

17) is no.9 a male or a female?
female.

18) if no.7 and no.10 are together, will it be a good thing?
They don't know each other and they're not les.

19) how about no.8 and 5?
Very interesting pairing but I don't think it'll work out..

20) what is no.2 studying about?
I think she's slacking.. =p

21) when was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
Two days ago, i think. She's in nanoi.

22) what music band does no.8 like?
Quite a mixture, I think.

23) Does no.1 have any siblings?
Nope. Spoilt only child. =p

24) will you woo no.3?
Haha. Even if I was les, I don't think I'll go for her. We don't match.

25) how bout no.7?
Haha. Same answer as above.

27) whats the surname of no.5?
Tan

28) whats the hobby of no.4?
Reading and watching various serials?

29) do no.5 and 9 get along?
Mhmm.

30) where is no.2 studying at?
where else? =p

31) talk something casually about no.1?
Haha. My conscience at the weirdest time and my warped voice of reason. =p

32) have you tried to develop feelings for no.8?
Nope.

33) where does no.9 live at?
Somewhere near Teacher's Network?

34) what colour does no.4 like?
Oops. I forgot.. >.<

35) are no.1 and 5 best friends?
Haha. Nope.

36) does no.7 like no.2?
They know each other but i doubt they'll like each other in the romantic sense for obvious reasons. =p

37) how do you get to know no.2?
nanyang then same mentor group.

38) does no.1 have any pets?
Haha. Nope.

39) is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
-blinks. I don't think she would like that description. It doesn't suit her anyway.

Haha. Renee tagged me for yet another quiz but I'll do that in another entry or something.. =p

TGIF

2008-10-24T20:11:00.002+08:00

As usual, I can't think of a suitable blog title so I'll blog first and see what comes to mind. In fact, I'm not even sure what this entry will be about. =p

Script-checking yesterday. It's just as well that I wasn't expecting much from my results so I didn't get that disappointed. Not going to bother listing down my marks since they're actually quite bad by normal standards but as I said, I wasn't expecting much. Thankfully.

Ohh! I'm quite happy that I've lost some weight. Perhaps the stomach flu was a blessing in disguise. Probably helps that I haven't been eating much. =p Oops? But yes, 2.5kg lighter than my previous weight. Only 2-3 more kg away from my ideal weight. =) Shall try to lose a bit more weight before the holidays. It's called the hot dog diet. Lol. Never mind. For those not familiar with my eating habits, you won't get it.

There are things that I want to blog about but I guess I just have no idea how to start and perhaps I'm not comfortable being that open on this blog. It's been ages since I blogged anything related to how I'm feeling and all. This blog has become merely a place for me to recount the things that happen in my life. Somehow, it feels like only one person really knows me well. Thanks dear for being a constant in my life. Haha. Don't get the wrong idea. The person's not a guy. I'm not that scandalous. I think. Lol.

Hmm.. Suddenly missed someone last night and well, I'm a bit surprised. That person lent me a listening ear and could make me laugh. But we've drifted away. Wondered whether I missed that person or just having a close friend but now, I guess it's a combination of both. That person was quite significant in my life and gave me quite good advice a few times. It's been ages since I mention this person on my blog and no, it's not who you all think it is. But yes, I wouldn't mind catching up with that person some time soon but I guess I have no idea how to bridge the distance between us. It's been months since we last talked. Sighs.

Somehow, I think I'm just blogging for the sake of passing time and keeping my blog alive. Hmm.. Wondering what to do during the holidays to pass time. Get a part-time job or go for some classes. Nothing academic, of course. =p Lol. How typical of me, right? But ya, I feel like trying something new. See how, I guess. Shall just be a couch/bed potato in the meantime.. =p Great. I've reach the end of this blog entry and still can't think of a title. Hmm.. Got it.

final chapter

2008-10-22T23:48:00.003+08:00

This title's quite apt since it was the farewell assembly for the Year 6s today plus I finally closed a chapter in my life. I've been seeking closure for that particular issue for quite some time. In fact, it's almost approaching two years. Those close to me should know what I'm referring to but yes. I've written and did all I wanted. I'm contented now. Though I'm still a bit concerned as to what might happen but that's probably going to happen if there's a purple moon. =p

Hmm.. The farewell assembly went quite well. But after hearing the speech Dr Hang made, it makes you wonder what he will say about our batch. Oh well. We'll find out next year. Some of the songs performed were quite nice, especially "Keep Moving On". The key that the seniors received was quite nice. Haha. A t-shirt saying "I survived NUS High" would have been quite a good present too. Lol. After that, went for lunch at NUS with kenwei, lynn and debz. Didn't finish my lunch and pushed it to kenwei and probably caused him to have a stomachache. Oops? Oh well. I wanted to try the dessert but was too full so shall wait til the next time, I guess. Crashed the lecture together with lynn since it was raining and I didn't want to go back. The content was pretty understandable really. Ohh. The lecturer has quite a heavy accent but he's pretty funny and tells decent jokes and all.

Ohh.. Shall blog about yesterday too. Had the GEP coding thing at Teacher's Network which involved lots and lots of shading. Thankfully, they dismissed us at 1 plus. Went out to orchard together with lynn and debz. Walked around heeren for awhile before heading to cineleisure to buy tickets for "Nights in Rodanthe". The movie was quite good. I want a house like that too! I don't care if a house on the beach is unstable but imagine being able to wake up to hear the waves crashing and smell the ocean breeze. Sighs. Ideal home. Sadly, the soundtrack wasn't that good. Oh well. Went walking around Takashimaya after the movie. Too bad we couldn't get lynn to try on any Daniel Yam dresses. Haha. The next time we go out, you're trying, ok? =p Had dinner with debz with walking around a bit more. Finally left orchard at around 7. Sighs. I had to be smart enough to read on the bus and ended up vomitting when I reached back hostel. Oh well. It was the latest Artemis Fowl book. What do you expect from me?

I realized that I'm going to be really free during the next 3 weeks. Probably vegetate in hostel and watch the various series that I have or finish up the Shu Mizoguchi puzzle that I brought or read books and online stories. Of course, I don't mind going out but no one to go out with. -hints. Lol. Just be nice and ask me out as and when, ok? I don't really like going out alone. But I'll probably do that once or twice. Anyway, there isn't much to blog about. Oh yes, script-checking tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous but hopefully, I'll do ok. I'm not expecting too much so I shouldn't be that disappointed. Let's just hope that I survive tomorrow. For more than one reason..

masquerade

2008-10-19T21:05:00.002+08:00

Haha. I really need to come up with more original ideas. The title's basically the theme for hostel dinner last night so you can probably guess what this entry is about..

But that aside, did a bit of shopping at Marina Square before hostel dinner. Had lunch there to celebrate my grandma and dad's birthday and dragged my mum off shopping after that. Had to hit Sphere as usual and of course, bought 2 t-shirts. A pink one that says "Men are like commericals, you can't believe a word they say" and a blue one that says "Hate/Love" depending on how you look at it.. Wanted to buy more but decided 2 at one go was enough. There were a few other nice ones.. -cough. Then went to another shop and bought another top. The colour's pretty nice. Not really white but more of a cream shade? Yeps. =) Then mum wanted to doll me up before hostel dinner so we went around shops trying to find a make-up artiste but all of them chose that day to not be in. Lol. The queue at hair salons were also too long. In the end, bought a bottle of nail polish and lip gloss.

Went to my grandma's house and my mum was still persistent in trying to doll me up so we walking around the estate in the hopes of finding a hair salon. Came across this makeover shop and they directed us to another shop within the estate that did hair and makeup. Went over there and was quite impressed by the guy. He recommended curling my hair since blowing it dry would be kind of boring so ya. Then he did some funny thing to my hair, which I have no idea how to describe but involved using 9 pins. But the overall effect wasn't too bad, I guess. Then he threw in a bit of makeup even though we didn't ask for it. Lip gloss and some blusher. Think I'm going back there to cut my hair soon.. He seems quite good at his job so ya..

Hostel dinner. Haha. Let's not talk about the food, shall we? It was fun seeing everyone all dressed up. Pictures galore! =) The highlight of the whole dinner was probably the disco. Haha. Can't remember the last time I actually danced. Oh wait, never. Haha. I take that back. There was that one occasion in Primary 6 but let's forget about it, shall we? =p Haha. The whole group of us dancing and trying to get some unwilling people to dance too. It was fun. Really wished that we could have stayed longer but our feets were starting to ache. After the disco, part of me really wants to try out clubbing and all. Yesyes, I've braced myself for the tons of lectures that's going to come my way but ya.. It would be fun. Just dancing and drinking. Already told someone my reasons why I want to drink and dance but then again, got lectured. =p Oh well. Let's see what happens when I turn 18.

In the end, couldn't sleep til 2am.. Initially, it was the adrenaline. Then after that, the adrenaline effect faded off but I guess I just couldn't sleep. Thankfully, there was someone to pei wo until 1 plus. Oh well. Too bad you had to go off. But then again, it's better than nothing. I would have probably kept you online til very late.. =p Anyway, think I'll end off the entry here. Don't want to ruin the mood of this entry. =p

orange moon

2008-10-17T22:21:00.002+08:00

Just came back from meeting with sammi.. Went to the library as usual and got chased out at 9pm since they were closing. Oh well. Had dinner while sammi watched me eat. Then we went to the mrt station and stood there chatting and admiring the orange moon. When I first saw the moon, I got a bit freaked out. It was so big and orange. And the problem with an orange moon? I predicted that something will happen only if there's an orange moon. And now that there really is an orange moon, will that event occur? Who knows?

Sighs. Been having stomach flu for the past two days.. Started vomitting on Wednesday and didn't feel well when I woke up on Thursday morning so skipped invigilation and went to see a doctor instead. After seeing the doctoor, vomitted 5 more times and decided to skip invigilation yet again today. Oh well. There goes my pay.. =p

Not really in the mood to blog much.. Just wanted to mention the orange moon. Shall get pictures from sammi when she comes online. =)

the gift

2008-10-17T15:55:00.002+08:00

It's been ages since I found a good book with quotable lines but yes, one of my favourite authors finally came up with a new book and now, I present to you quotes from "The Gift" by Richard Paul Evans.

There's no hurt so great that love can't heal it.
This line is really beautiful and well, I guess I have to agree. Love triumphs over all.

Existential philosophy holds that the worst thing placed in Pandora's box was hope.
Hope is a double-edged sword. Without hope, there's not much to look forward to but with hope, comes disappointment.

Love, like forgiveness, is often found in the confession of it.
No comments..

Forgiveness does not require us to close our eyes but rather to truly open them.
Sighs. Of all the people I need to forgive, I think I need to start with myself..

Sometimes to move forward we must be willing to look back.
Haha. I bet most people will disagree with this line but still, it's quite accurate. You have to look back and seal the past before you can move on.

Anyway, it doesn't feel right to be blogging about anything else when this entry is to be devoted to the book so yeps. Shall end here. Maybe another trip to the library later. =p

hidden yet again..

2008-10-16T19:20:00.003+08:00

I really need to come up with better titles. But anyway, this entry will be very, very random. It's not supposed to make sense unless you happen to be able to read my mind.

That shade is so pretty, isn't it? Not dark enough to be called red and yet not light enough to be called pink. I wonder where you can find such a nice colour..

Sound travels, you know? It passes through air and walls. Laughter has never cut so deeply before but I guess there's a first time for everything.

It's deja vu all over again, isn't it? Same script but with one major difference. The main character has changed.

Promises are meant to be broken, aren't they? This is what happens due to lack of self-control. It's been a long time.

Don't try to make sense of this entry. You'll get a headache. Some of the lines are more obvious than the rest but then again, I bet people will jump to the wrong conclusions.

hidden

2008-10-15T18:35:00.002+08:00

Things sure have gottten complicated, haven't they? I'm not going to go into detail here since I'm not really comfortable with being so open on my public blog. It's been a long time since I blogged here without any censorship. I guess the open part of me kind of disappeared awhile back. Over the years, I have become more withdrawn. This year is definitely no exception. I rarely open up anymore but then again, who can I open up to? But yes, I really wish things weren't this way. It's making me dread sleep too much. Oh well. At least the nap just now wasn't too bad. I'm kind of making sure I'm super tired before I hit the bed. That's pretty effective, for now.

Ohh.. Came upon the tagline of "Nights in Rodanthe" and I'm quite torn between whether to agree with it or not. The tagline is "It's never too late for a second chance." A part of me was quite amused at the timing of the whole thing but the other part of me was just irked and annoyed. It's as if fate wants to rub it in. Second chances.. Do I believe in them? I guess a part of me does but another part of me knows that for some things in life, there are no second chances. I can certainly think of a very good example. Anyway, just thought of a rather classic scenario regarding second chances and no, it doesn't depict my life right now. If someone hurt you very badly and wanted to come back into your life, would you still let them back in? Leave a tag on my tagboard with your reply. It'll be interesting to see what each of you think..

Sighs. For the first time in a long time, I really wished that I had the ability to turn back time. Even after everything that happened to me in the past, I just accepted it and lived my life. But now, I actually regret certain things that I didn't do.. It's been a long time since I had any regret in life but now, it's a different story altogether. But what's the point of regret? It's not going to change things. It just intensifies the pain. That's all it does. I'm being vague on purpose. But then again, it shouldn't be too hard to guess what I'm blogging about. Sighs. I better stop blogging. It's not really helping my mood.

~Do you know what hurts? The fact that the tears fall with no one to wipe them away..

first day of work

2008-10-13T20:55:00.002+08:00

Yet another utterly original blog entry title.. Oh well. Forgive me, my brain's been slacking so much and I can't bother to come up with something better.

Had to wake up at 7am and met the rest downstairs before taking 14 to Teacher's Network. But we didn't know how long the bus was going to take and ended up being 15 minutes late. I feel bad cause I was the one who suggested taking the bus. Oh well. At least we weren't the latest. A briefing that lasted 1 hour before we split into our different groups to do coding..

I don't think I'm supposed to blog about the process so ya.. But let's just say it was kind of monotonous. Oh well. Did coding til it was time for lunch. They packed lunch for us so had a quick lunch then went back to the room. Another briefing before we did more coding. Finally got dismissed at around 3:30pm. Not bad though. We were schedule to be dismissed at 5:30pm actually..

Haha. Received an sms from lynn asking if I wanted to watch Painted Skin at 3:20pm but since I was still being briefed, I was super impatient and kept wishing the guy wouldn't be so long-winded. Rushed down in a cab to Cineleisure but then turns out there wasn't enough seats so they decided not to wash the movie. The whole group of us decided to play pool but since the rates at Cineleisure was a bit expensive, we headed to Meridien instead. Haha. Twice in less than one week. Played in all sorts of combinations. Team versus single, 1 on 1, etc.. Cos there was 5 of us and we got 2 tables. Lynn's improved a lot. =) We managed to beat ken wei. -feels proud. Haha. Then debz came to join us after that. Played for around 2 hours before heading to Plaza Singapura for dinner. Remembered to go down to the shop "Made with Love" to find paper with nice design. The designs were nice and all but they didn't have it in A4 size and it's just weird to write a letter on a squarish piece of paper. Lol. I'm picky, aren't I?

Hmm.. I want to thank a certain someone for giving me a hug even though I had to ask for it. =p It meant a lot. Thanks. It's nice to know that you're someone that I can still count on. Yes, I'll try to heed your advice. I've paid the price once and I don't want to pay it again. Realized that I've yet to dedicate a paragraph to you so I shall do it now. Normally have the habit of dedicating paragraphs to my close friends so ya.. Thanks for all the times you made me laugh and smile with ur smses, don't think I'll delete them any time in the near future. It's enjoyable spending time with you and you got me started on quite a few things. I'm sorry for hurting you but I really didn't mean to. Don't think lowly of yourself, ok? You were never and will never be a substitute. You mean more to me than that. -hugs. Thanks for trying to make things as smooth as possible for me. You're a great source of support now and I hope I don't lose you. -crosses fingers. But ya, hope that we remain friends for years and years to come..

Haha. No prizes for guessing the identity of the person. Ohh. I realized I forgot to buy jelly beans from Plaza Singapura. Could someone be nice enough to get me some? I'm having a craving for it.. =p No, I'm not pregnant. Lol. And why is it so hard to find nice A4 size paper? I'm probably going to go Popular this Friday and try my luck. While I'm there, shall head to the library. I'm deprived of books. Anyway, think I'll stop blogging here. Bye!

over

2008-10-12T19:56:00.002+08:00

Whoa. I have to agree with the saying "You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend." I've just finished reading this series of fanfiction and well, I'm feeling that way. 4 stories in total over a span of 2 days. It's been ages since I last read something good. I really need to go to the library soon..

Been going out for the past 2 days and caught "Eagle Eye" and "House Bunny". "Eagle Eye" was quite a good thriller and "House Bunny" was just really funny with all the stereotypes. Don't think I'll go into detail and recount how the days were. Not really in the mood. Played a bit of mahjong today and won some cash. Not too bad, I guess.

Hmm.. I'm debating whether to blog about something. Oh well. I'll just blog about my reaction. Honestly, I was a bit down at first. But I guess that was inevitable. I mean, even though it's mutual and all, it still hurt. The feeling of losing someone, I guess? Sighs. But I'm more or less back to normal now so don't worry about me. Thanks for all your concern though. Haha. And don't go kill him or something. He's not to be blamed, ok? Lol.

Sighs. My mood's a bit too down now. I blame the series. Like what the saying said, I feel as if I've lost a friend. And that feeling's not exactly the best thing for me to be feeling now..

Oh well. I think I'll elaborate a bit more regarding what happened. Hmm.. I think I've said this quite a lot of time but ya, I guess it's just as well that I saw it coming. It kind of lessens the impact. And well, I can't help but agree with the reasons. And yes, I know I ought to be lectured for one of the reasons. Sighs. I'm trying to work on that, ok? Give me some time.. Yes, I know it's been so long already but I guess I just need more time? I really want to resolve that issue too.

Hmm.. Heading back to hostel soon. Why is there assembly today? If not, I could go somewhere and be alone for awhile. I think I need that. Hmm.. Maybe on one of my free days, I'll head to one of my sanctuary. No prizes for guessing where it is, ok? =p Anyway, time to pack up and all. Think I'll sleep early tonight. Need to wake up early tmr.. >.<

enjoyment

2008-10-09T21:37:00.002+08:00

It's pretty peaceful to be sitting here and typing this blog entry. Where's here? That's for me to know and not for you to find out. It's somewhere in the school compound, of course. =p Hmm.. I just wish that it was a bit windier..

Met up with sammi today and walked around a small part of orchard. Had to go kinokuniya, of course. Saw a few nice books and recorded down the authors. There was book 3 of the Unicorn Chronicles but since I didn't like the cover, I didn't get it. Lol. I'm learning from sammi. Ohh. Why is it that art friend doesn't have nice paper? Went there before I met sammi to find paper for a letter but couldn't find a nice design. Shall go popular and try my luck..

Then walked around a few shops and stopped at hula & co. It was the place that I bought my previous halter dress so decided to go in and see if there was any more nice dresses. And sammi got me to try on this black & white v-necked dress with sleeves. Tried it on and looked quite decent in it so decided to buy it. Saw another top that I liked but after trying it on, didn't like it as much so decided against it. There was this nice promotion of 50% off the 2nd item so sammi got something and we split the cost. Walked around a bit more and found a nice pair of jeans for only $43 and since sammi had the discount card for the shop, why not? Sighs. I'm shopping too much. But then again, I've been looking for a pair of jeans for quite awhile.

Went to starbucks after that and got lectured by sammi for some silly things that I did awhile back. Heehee. Maybe I shouldn't have confessed. Lol. Oh well. Broken tape recorder. So sorry. I'll try to keep to my word, ok? No more silly actions when I'm bored. Haha. It's wrong when someone without a conscience becomes my voice of reason. But you're not that bad actually. You do have a conscience. It's just buried deep within. =p But yes, I always have to face up to the truth when you're around. Oh well. Haha. Then someone came to join us and it was pretty interesting talking to him and watching you two interact. He's not bad.

HMV after that. Haha. Can someone tell me where to download movies from? Got a list of 5 movies that I want to watch. Better yet if you have the shows.. =p
1) Serendipity"
2) Before sunrise,
3) Before sunset
4) Accuracy of death
5) Save the last dance

Dinner after that and a bus ride back. The walk back to school was pretty enjoyable. A solitary walk at night while listening to nice music. Looking up and seeing the stars in the sky. I wish the walk never ended. The atmosphere was very nice.. Oh well. Now's not too bad either. Shall end today on a nice note by finishing up the last 2 episodes of a drama serial. My mum just had to warn me that I might not like the ending though. Pft. Oh well. Hoping that two characters get together.. Don't know why I seem to like the guy in the show so much even though he's not really a major character. He's quite cool though but not that handsome. Mm. Anyway, think I'll end off this blog entry here. Another blog's calling me. =p

20 questions

2008-10-09T11:34:00.002+08:00

1. Do you have secrets?
Obviously..

2. Would you fall in love with a boy younger than you?
^_- Nope.

3. Do you enjoy going to sch?
Sometimes.. At least it gives me something to do.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Give some to my parents, relatives and close friends.. Then go buy a nice house by the beach.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Haha. Considering that my close/best friends are almost all girls, what do you think?

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone. Because it can hurt to love someone..

7. What would be your perfect place of choice for a date?
Haha. Somewhere romantic?

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Give up on the guy..

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
Of course. But it's awhile since I've been extremely happy..

10. List the artists you listen to.
Quite alot but my favourite's probably Corrinne May and a few other songs from various other artists.

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
Hopefully, married and happy.

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?
More than one person so ya..

13. What kind of the person do you think the person tagged you is?
Haha. My mei! But ya, she's super pro. =p

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Married but poor.

15. What is your favourite colour?
Blue! =)

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Mm. I think I've done that before..

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
The one who has the ability to make me cry.. Weird answer, isn't it? But it actually makes sense. Think about it for awhile. The one who can make you cry probably means more to you.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
I'll forgive but it's harder for me to forget..

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
Being in relationship..

20. 5 people I have tagged
lynn, gloria tan, gloria wong, hui shi and I can't think of a 5th person..

Hmm.. Expect another blog entry tonight or something, considering that I'm going out with sammi later. It should be pretty enjoyable. Oh well. Better go bathe now. Bye!

doctor's order: shopping

2008-10-07T19:57:00.002+08:00

Haha. My title was copied from a saying on a T-shirt. It's quite appropriate for this blog entry as you shall see if you read on..

Woke up at 9 plus and slacked around for awhile doing shellie's jigsaw puzzle while waiting for renee.. Went to Tiong Bahru and had lunch before going to this building to look for masks. But in the end, the only masks we found were those Chinese masks.. Not exactly appropriate for boarding formal dinner. On the bright side, there was a Christian bookstore in that building. Was tempted to buy Karen Kingsbury's books but in the end, decided against it. If I did buy, I would buy all 3 in the series so ya.. And that would cost $60+? Couldn't really afford it at that point in time. While helping shellie look for a devotion book, came across this really interesting book called "Faith-dipped chocolate". It's like a devotion book but inspired by chocolate.. After reading through the first devotion, I liked it so much that I decided to buy it. =) Think my mum will steal the book from me once she sees it.. =p

Next stop: Bugis. Walked around Bugis Junction awhile in the hopes of finding a shop that sells masks but to no avail. Then we headed to the streets.. At one of the first few shops, all 3 of us liked the same shirt: Little Miss Curious. So we all got it but in different colours. Hot pink, black and white. Go figure who got which colour.. =p Weaved in and out of the shops and spent a lot of time looking at tops, shoes and belts. Bought another two tops at this bargain shop. A black turtleneck and this beige spaghetti strap with a brown jacket. And the best part? They only cost $15 in total..

There was a Sphere outlet there and of course, we had to buy t-shirts from there. For those who don't know, Sphere sells t-shirts with really cute sayings. My title's one of the sayings. Then there are others like "Hand over the chocolate and nobody gets hurts" or "I'm single, just don't tell my boyfriend". The other Sphere outlet is at Marina Square. Haha. Sounds like I'm advertising for Sphere, right? But yeps, I have about 4 shirts from Sphere? Brown, blue, yellow and black. I'm thinking of getting pink next.. =p

Went upstairs where there were more shops and there was this shop similar in concept to Sphere.. Cute sayings but the font of the words weren't really as nice, but it's slightly cheaper. Bought a shirt that said, "Everytime i hear your name, it breaks my heart". Lol. Couldn't resist.. There was another one that I liked but the font wasn't nice enough. It goes something like this, "Everytime i hear this song, it reminds me of you". Ohh! There was one more that went something like "The truth is .. I'm still thinking about you". Haha. But yes, one shirt is enough.

On the third level, we finally hit the jackpot. This shop was selling all kinds of masks with feathers and sequins but they were really expensive! $18 for one and that was after discount.. After debating for a long time, we decided not to get them and go to Holland Village instead to find the masks. Renee had to go home so shellie and I headed to Holland Village..

Found this shop selling rather plain masks but they were much cheaper. Only $4.90 for one, comes in 4 colours. We headed to another shop but that shop only sold two kinds of masks. A pretty blue butterfly mask and a black lace one. Too bad the blue one doesn't really go with either of our dresses. So went back to the first shop and bought a mask each. I bought silver and shellie bought purple. Went to buy dinner after that before taking a look at puppies. Then shellie's dad came and fetched us and brought us back to hostel.

Haha. Today was really a fruitful day. 5 tops + 1 mask for below $50.. To be exact, the tops only cost $42. Quite proud of myself. Didn't spend too much.. Was tempted to buy a few more tops actually but ya, had a bit of self-control. =p Oh well. Retail therapy always helps so I'm in quite a good mood now. Shall go slack the rest of the night away.. =)

over

2008-10-06T10:47:00.003+08:00

Whee! Exams are over! =)

Sadly, I'm not as high as I sound.. Perhaps it's because I'm typing this all alone in the hostel room when I should be out celebrating. Perhaps it's the fact that I've become resigned to my fate. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm desperate enough to resort to certain measures.

For a moment, I actually wished that there were still exams because that means I'll have something to do. Somehow, drama serials and jigsaw puzzles seemed to have lost their appeal. Probably because they're not what I really want. I don't demand a lot. Just some quality time with some close friends and I'll be satisfied. But wait a minute, how many close friends do I even have? I hate to ask that question but it's true, isn't it? Friends come and go. Everything has its time and well, that applies to friends too. Whenever I gain someone's friendship, I seem to lose the friendship of another. It's happened more than once. Except now, I'm just losing without gaining. Perhaps it's atonement for the times when I had so many friends and was so happy..

I've realized that I don't need to be intoxicated to do silly things. That makes you wonder what sillier things I will do when I'm drunk.. Oh well. We'll find out next year. After all, 18 is such a nice number. But then again, I doubt I'll go crazy partying or clubbing. That's just not me. But I don't mind trying some alcohol. After all, it's supposed to make you forget everything. And well, I won't mind that. There are some things best forgotten. Wait. Do I even want to forget them? I'll get back to you on that. =p

I'm highly tempted to pull off a repeat of Sec 2 choral night except that there's a certain significance that comes with doing that. The more I think about it, the more tempting it becomes. And that's not good. In fact, that's very, very bad. I can already picture what will happen. I doubt it'll do me any good. Sighs. But it's seriously tempting..

I can think of several things that will cheer me up but they're all out of my control. I can't think of anything that I can do that will bring me happiness for more than a minute. Even the thought of things like jellybeans and library trips aren't making me smile much. How long can jelly beans last? And library trips have too much memories associated with them. Right now, sleep's the most appealing option. Except that I tend to have weird dreams and well, I can't help but wonder whether I want them to come true. -shrugs.

Anyway, enough moping around. This blog entry isn't really helping. I'll probably just start on a new drama serial that my mum bought and hope that the plot's good enough that I'll forget about everything else. If all fails, then I'll take a nice long nap..

~Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find..

68

2008-10-05T17:59:00.003+08:00

1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be?
Honest answer or not? =p Haha. Go guess.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Mhmm. There's $1 to take back.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Listener..

4. Do you take compliments well?
Nope, I have no idea how to react to them.

5. Do you play Sudoku?
Yeps. =)

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
I don't think so..

7. Do you like to ride horses?
Haven't ridden before but think I'll like it. =)

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Mhmm! All those complusory school camps each year..

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
It's sad that I can't remember.. But I was more into the TV and books..

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it?
Nope.

11. Have you lied to get out of a date?
I don't think so..

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
I'll try not to..

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
To be pursued.. =p

14. Use three words to describe yourself?
Emotional, sentimental, random.

15. Do any songs make you cry?
Of course.. Quite a few. Especially those with memories attached..

16. Are you continuing your education?
Mhmm.

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Erm.. Just fire, I guess? =p

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
Bah. How to decide? Either a certain soft toy or my two books of neoprints (they come together.)

19. How often do you read books?
Almost every day? =p

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
I think about the past too much, live in the present too little and spend a moderate amount of time thinking about the future.

21. What is your favorite children's book?
Haha. Too many to name, I think..

22. What color are your eyes?
Brown.

23. How tall are you?
167cm.

24. Where is your dream house located?
Next to the beach.. =p

25. Do you have a secret fetish?
Huh?!

26. Have you tried sushi?
Yeps! =) And I love it.

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Does neoprints count? =p

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Where's that?

29. When was the last time you were at Church?
-cough. A few weeks ago..

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
To the kitchen.. Lol. But I'll be travelling to hostel later.

31. What was your favorite job?
Haven't gotten a job yet..

32. Do you like mustard?
Nope.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Zzz..

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Dad. Sadly..

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
About 10 minutes? Unless I'm purposely taking a longer time..

36. Can you do a split?
Nope.

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
High School Musical 3.. Yes, I know it's not out yet.

38. If you could fast forward your life, would you?
Nope. Even though it's tempting..

39. What did you do for New Year's?
Visit relative, eat a lot of new year goodies, collect red packets, etc..

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
Didn't watch it.

41. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls?
Didn't watch it even though I wanted to..

42. Do you own a camera phone?
Yup.

43. Do you have an "ex box" with pics and letters from past lovers?
^_-

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
Nope.

45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
I have no middle name.

46. Do you like your middle name?
Refer to above question..

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
7-8 on average.. Tend to sleep significantly more on weekends though.

48. Do you like care bears?
I'm fine with them.

49. What do you buy at the movies?
Nachos. =)

50. Do you know how to play poker?
Erm.. Not sure.

51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Yup. It's required by law.

52. What do you wear to sleep?
Whatever I was wearing before that? So normally t-shirt and shorts..

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
F1 considered? =p

54. How many meals do you eat a day?
3, unless I'm skipping breakfast and/or lunch..

55. Is your tongue pierced?
Nope.

56. Ever meet anyone you met on myspace?
I don't use myspace.

57. Do you read myspace bulletins?
Refer to above answer.

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
A mixture of both..

59. Ever been to L.A.?
Nope.

60. Did you eat a cookie today?
Nope, but I wouldn't mind one from Subway or Famous Amos.. =p

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Nope. I rarely swear even in English.

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
Laadeedaa.

63. Do you hate chocolate?
How could I? They're so sinfully good.. =)

64. Are you a gullible person?
Erm, probably.

65. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
Considering that I have a boyfriend, I have no idea how to answer this question.. (On a totally random note, I've realized that this is the first time I've mentioned that I have a boyfriend on my blog.)

66. If you could have any job what would it be?
I'm torn between doctor or marine biologist.

67. Are you easy to get along with?
Go ask my friends..

68. What is your favorite time of day?
Dusk or night.. =p

remnants

2008-10-04T16:43:00.002+08:00

I have an idea what I'm going to blog about but I still can't think of an appropriate title. I thought of one but for sanity's sake, I better not use it. That title was much too apt, much too suitable. Never thought I'll reject a title because it's too suitable but yes.. Some things just aren't meant to be. Never mind, I'll leave my title blank for now while I continue blogging..

I was supposed to go out today with Renee. Pft. Too bad there's exams. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to have that pact in the first place. It's only effective if we actually do go out and somehow manage to forget everything else.. Right now, all the pact does is to remind me that there was something I wanted to forget. Something happened on this day two years ago and well, I can't seem to forget it.. I'm not even sure if I want to forget it. Would I have given a different answer if I knew that things wouldn't last? Somehow, I doubt it.

Instead of thinking about the past, I should be making notes for Ecology but I've lost the mood. Right now, I would love to be drinking coffee with certain people and just chat the rest of the day away. But no, I'm stuck at home attempting to make notes. Perhaps it would help if I was actually making notes but I lost my focus halfway through the predation notes. So now, I'm in one of my moods. Pft. Stupid phone that gives me false hope. It vibrated and for a momemt, I thought that I had a message. Then it turns out to be an ad from McDonalds. Great. Even my phone is conspiring against me..

Would someone please make my day? I know that there are things worth living for in this world but they all seem so distant now. Shadows and empty shells, that's all that remains..

save me

2008-10-02T16:58:00.002+08:00

'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again

I have no idea what this entry is going to be about. I'm just in one of my random blogging moods. Felt compelled to insert that chunk of lyrics above.. Was listening to the song and well, I couldn't help but think back to the past. As in, how we I used to recharge and all.. Oops. Couldn't resist. =p But yes, I think I do need to recharge in that way again. Yet, it's almost impossible. There were always so many factors to consider.. Yet, I was recharged time and time again. Sighs. Why not now? -knocks head. I really should stop thinking along this train of thought. Ohh.. A random thought, I wonder how many people can identify the song without googling the lyrics.

Back to reality.. 2 papers down, 3 more to go. I really should be studying inorganic chemistry instead of blogging but then again, I rarely ever do the logical things. Perhaps I need to examine my head again. Oh wait, been there, done that. And it still makes no difference. It's not my head that's messed up. It's my heart. Or maybe a combination of both..

Ohh! Thanks to lynn, I finally got a song that I've been wanting for quite a long time.. "Promise" from Disney Millenium Celebration. I've been neglecting the piano score. Then again, I could never play it as well as the one who passed me the score. So no point slaughtering the song.. I was contemplating whether to post the lyrics of the song on my blog but decided against it. Go google it yourself if you're interested..

Great. I just typed out an entire paragraph then deleted it. Oh well. That paragraph was a bit pointless. Great, I'm in a blogging mood but I have no idea what to blog about. I still think the best entries are written at night.. Forget it. I shaln't try to force the words to come. I already had to do that for my english exam and my animal physiology exam. So much smoking.. =p The entire second essay was just forcing myself to write something that seemed relevant to the passage. And for some of the animal physiology questions, I was utterly clueless and just wrote something to fill up the lines. So enough of forcing the words to come..

I have way too many smses to spare..

replay

2008-09-30T20:12:00.002+08:00

On a sudden impulse, I decided to find the songs to the drama serial that my mum and I were watching.. And now, I can't stop playing the songs. I posted the lyrics of one of the song on my MSN space already. Here's the other song.. The title's "Talk to me".

You talk to me
You speak with me
Don't sink before you rise
Baby don't fade away
You hesitate
You seem to wait
For all the time we had
Feels like a world away
Who's to say we'll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don't wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause we're the same
And i know that we'll never change
Look i bought your favourite ice cream
I dont wanna see it melt away
If you walk out now
I don't know if we're gonna be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause i want you to stay here with me

The song's really short and well, the lyrics are not particularly meaningful but there's this certain appeal to it especially when it plays during the show. I really like one of the lines alot. No prizes for guessing which line it is though.. But yes, this song really grew on me. I can't pinpoint why I like it so much. Perhaps it's just that one line..

preparations

2008-09-30T17:41:00.004+08:00

I really wished that I could come up with better titles but this shall have to do for now. My brain isn't really functioning at its optimal capacity. It works best for all the wrong reasons. Out of all the entries this year, one of the better entries was written for one of the worst possible reasons. -shrugs. Things seem to make more sense in the middle of the night, don't they?

Anyway, 2nd reading day today.. At least I haven't really been wasting time. Covered animal physiology yesterday and inorganic chemistry today. Nes is going to drag me to the library for more inorganic chemistry later so ya.. Technically, I'm supposed to be doing Tutorial 7 now but oh well.. It's been awhile since I blogged. Lol. Ya, 4 days is considered awhile..

While the end of exams does seem appealing, it has lost some of its allure. All that free time but hardly anything to do or anyone to spend it with. Free time isn't always good for me. I tend to do the stupidest things when I have too much time on my hand.. =p Time to go rent more shows and drama serials. The perfect way to occupy my time. As long as I don't start getting too caught up in the plot or seeing similarities between me and the characters, I should be fine. I have this tendency to liken myself to a character in the show. It's happened more than once. It happens for books too..

Hmm.. I want to blog more but there's this block. There are certain things that I want to blog about but I just can't seem to find the right words. The exam stress hasn't really hit me yet.. I can't figure out whether that's good or bad. Some stress would keep me on my toes but too much stress will cause me to worry. Perhaps my mind is too pre-occupied with other things to let the stress hit me. But the strange thing is I have no idea what's occupying my mind..

I'm in too much of a contemplative mood. Random thoughts are flitting through my head and well, I don't think that this is the best time to be entertaining such thoughts. Then again, is there ever an appropriate time to entertain such random thoughts? Oh yes.. In the middle of the night. =p Haha. But yes, what's going through my head now is how nothings last forever.. To quote the words on an icon that I like alot, "this too shall pass.." Perhaps I will use it as my MSN icon again. Anyway, think I'll stop blogging now. Besides, there are just some things which aren't meant to be blogged about.. At least, not on this blog.

~everything in its time..

finally..

2008-09-26T22:05:00.004+08:00

Today was the last day of lessons for this year. Now, it's time to start mugging. And let's see.. What have I been doing today?

Sleeping from 9 plus til 11 plus before heading home. Oops? I accidentedly broke a school rule but oh well.. =p It was just one more hour til 1pm anyway. Then went home and watched the last 4 episodes of a drama serial with my mum. So shoot me. The plot was pretty good, even if a bit predictable. Yay! I predicted the ending correctly. Hah. Had fun saying "I told you so." to my mum. She predicted that the elder son would die but she was wrong.. Then read finished the last book in the Maximum Ride series. Hmm.. I think I prefer the earlier books. Then played around on my laptop for the rest of the time.. Oops? What happened to studying? Lol.

Received the post exam timetable today.. Looks like I'll be quite free. =) Anyone wants to keep me company? Ohh.. I'm trying to find a "良辰吉日" to give away my farewell present to someone. Haha. The last two days of school happen to be sports day but it's so troublesome to lug it around. Maybe I'll give in advance. See how.

Mum managed to get two F1 walkaround tickets for my dad and jon. So now, they're with the crowd while we're at home watching it shown on TV. Honestly, I can't really see the appeal in F1 racing. Perhaps it would be different if I was actually down there in the action.. But yes, I prefer pretty sports car to the F1 cars.. =p

I need something to do. Maybe I shouldn't have taken a nap from 4 plus til 6 plus.. I'm a bit too awake. But then again, the night is young. =p Hmm.. Maybe I can read the last of the library books I borrowed. Or I could start studying. -cringes. Haha. I'll start studying tomorrow. Seriously, I mean it. I'll be guai. I hope. =p Anyway, enough blogging for now. Bye!

annoyance

2008-09-24T21:19:00.004+08:00

In the span of 12 hours, I've seen two doctors. Great.

I'm this close to swearing. What right do you have to tell me what to do? The 2 days of MC was just a precaution. The doctor said that I could go back to school tomorrow if I wanted to. I'm this close to swearing. My emotions are on a roller-coaster ride now and it's all thanks to you.

Your reasoning is very messed up. You're worried that it's contagious. For starters, the doctor already said it's not. Secondly, if it was contagious, wouldn't my roommate or toiletmates have gotten it by now? After all, it's been nearly a week. Oh, whatever.

I know you're concerned and all but I know my own body best, ok? I wouldn't purposely jeopardize my health. Forget it. There's no point trying to talk sense into you. 简直是对牛弹琴。 Just leave me alone.

superior saturday

2008-09-21T22:28:00.002+08:00

What an apt title.. =p I'm going to be blogging about yesterday, which was a Saturday and it's also the title of a book which I borrowed from sammi. =)

Slept in til 12 before lazing around the house.. And then took a nap again at 4 plus. Woke up at 6 plus and was too lazy to go buy dinner. So I thought of the perfect motivation to get me out of the house. Persuaded sammi to meet me at je library for dinner. =) Books, decent food and great company. What more can one ask for?

Ended up borrowing 4 books even though my exams are around the corner. Oh well. It's just like me to borrow more books around the exam season. How could I resist them? =p Chatted with sammi awhile and thankfully, no honest truths to confront this time.. Lol. But I couldn't help but wonder what life would have been like if I transferred out at the end of Year 4.. Haha. After all, more people to meet, more drama in life perhaps? Oh well. Just one more year in this school and after that, university.

Sent sammi back home and managed to borrow the book mentioned earlier.. See, it pays to be nice. Haha. Anyway, went home and read for awhile before finally sleeping at 11 plus, 12.

Anyway, going to stop blogging now since today was pretty uneventful. Ohh! I've finished 2 books already.. Brought 2 more to hostel. =p That's all for now. Bye! =)

winner takes it all

2008-09-19T22:45:00.005+08:00

Today was quite a nice day. Didn't have any lessons so I went back to my hostel room after mentoring and ended up sleeping for 2 hours. =p Made my way back home and watched some drama serial with my mum before persuading her to watch Mamma Mia with me.

I really enjoyed the show. It doesn't pale in comparison to the musical. It was fun singing along to the songs with my mum. Ohh.. I had fun eyeing the guys in the show. Lol. Just kidding. But there was this scene when some hot guys were dancing with their shirts unbuttoned.. Heehee. It's been a long time since I heard ABBA songs so it was quite nice seeing the lyrics on the screen. Didn't realize the lyrics of certain songs were so emotional.. I'm tempted to dedicate one of the song but I have better self-control. But I might post the lyrics on my other blog and have one blog entry on it.. See how. =p

Went back home and watched more of the series before going down to pick up Jon from HPPS. Went down to school for Ken Wei's recital. He did well even though he did stumble a bit for one of his flute pieces. Anyway, what was up with the bananas? Lol.

Anyway, I'm being chased off to sleep now. >.< Ohh. I know my title doesn't have anything to do with my blog entry but it's the title of an ABBA song and well, it's pretty nice. It's one of the two songs that made me quite emotional..

~Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time..

change of blogskin

2008-09-18T21:37:00.003+08:00

I've finally gotten around to changing my blogskin. It suits me quite well, don't you agree? Had to spent some time editing the html code but then again, I've done it so many times before. It's becoming easier with each attempt. Had to search through many blogskins before I finally found this.. The other problem is the paragraphing. Check out the older entries.. They're all clumped together. One way to solve that is to leave two lines between each paragraph but that's troublesome.. And I can't seem to find the html code to edit it.

Anyway, it's approaching the end of the week. And I have no lessons tomorrow! Just mentoring. =) Shall come back up to the room and sleep..

9 months

2008-09-17T23:13:00.003+08:00

Guess how I came up with my blog title? I used my calculator to generate a random number from 1-9 and since the number was 9, I used that. Then thought of a word that fits with 9.. And the best word that I could come up with was months. =p Have I mentioned that I really like the random number function in the calculator? I'm intending to use it in the future.. Like example, should I do something? Generate a random number. If the number is _, then I'll do/not do the thing. Lol. What logic..

Ohh. I feel accomplished. Finally finished a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle within two and a half hours. Had some help from renee, michelle, wei ying and nes. But yes, the puzzle looks really really pretty. It's kept in the drawer beneath my hostel bed. Shall bring the glue and frame next week. Ohh. I should also bring the 1000 piece Shu Mizoguchi puzzle.

Had 2 tests this week and well, I'm a bit worried about the results but I shall just try to enjoy myself as much as possible. Went for cluster outing just now. Dinner at shellie's family business. My appetite has shrunk. I don't mind. That's a good thing. I'm putting on far too much weight..

Sighs. The teachers have started giving homework again. 2 biology presentations and 1 lab report.. Oh well. At least it's manageable. I shall try to relax again tomorrow.. But I'll have to discuss a presentation first. Never mind, can relax after that. Still got 2/3 of a book to read.. =)

Ohh.. I'm annoyed. For the past few weeks, been having nice undisrupted sleep.. But then, for the past two nights, been waking up in the middle of the night. >.< Must look on the bright side. At least I'm not having weird dreams. I must be too tired. I'm starting to sleep later and later.. Instead of sleeping at 11+, I'm sleeping at 12+ or sometimes even 1am.. Really shouldn't let my parents find out. =p

I think I'm just trying to lengthen this blog entry.. Oh well. Writer's block. I know that there are things I want to blog about but the words just don't seem to flow.

There's still something lacking in my life.. Or rather, there's something lacking in me. As in, I don't feel complete. Like a jigsaw puzzle that's missing a piece. I have some idea of what's missing but it's not something that can be found that easily. I'm still not as happy as before. It's as if my joy was taken away and I can't seem to find it back. At least, there used to be people to make me happy. I'm not saying that there isn't people around me now to make me happy but it's a lot more controlled. I'm contented with the way things are. But then again, someone did say that contentment isn't enough. Oh well. I'll just settle for what I have. The more you have, the more you stand to lose..

Ok. I think I shall stop here for now before I venture into dangerous territory. There are some topics that are better not to be thought about. Then again, that's never really stopped me, has it? Oops. =p Oh well. I shall be guai tonight. Think I'll slack for awhile more before sleeping. Bye!

full moon

2008-09-14T23:48:00.002+08:00

Happy Midautumn Festival!

I didn't eat as much mooncakes this year. >.< Oh well. Never mind. There's always next year and the year after that, and so on and so forth. =p Didn't really help out much in making mooncakes either.. Only dirtied my hands a bit while taking a break from the extended english critique. I can't help but think of the first batch that we made two years ago.. Those were interesting. We had really really weird flavours. Couldn't help but think about the response we got from the mooncakes. Some people really enjoyed them.

Finally managed to drag myself out of bed today to attend service. Lol. Fine. I'll confess. My mum bribed me with hotcakes. =p Worship experience today! Well.. I couldn't help but reflect on how my attitude towards church and service has really changed. It used to be rare for me to skip service and fuel. But now, it's rare for me to attend service and fuel. >.< It's not just the whole having to wake up early in the morning thing.. But rather, there's no wanting, no urge to make my way to church.

I guess I was ignoring God after I got so disappointed.. He painted me such a wonderful picture of this year at camp last year. Everything was going so well. Then crash. I relied on him to pull through the first month of this year. But then, my world came crashing down time and time again and well, I lost hope in Him. Then when I tried to seek Him, I couldn't feel His presence. And while I know that He's there for me, it hurts to not be able to feel Him. I can't seem to worship the way I used to and service just lost its appeal.

Even today, service wasn't quite the same. I had expectations and well, they weren't really met. I guess I'm still going through a dry season. Fine. It probably doesn't help that I'm still ignoring God once in awhile. Sighs. It's just that I can't seem to feel Him and well, it makes me feel more alone than usual. I'm used to feeling renewed and refreshed after service but now, it's like it's more of an obligation than anything. I hate this feeling but I guess I'm not prepared to do anything about it either. Oh well. I acknowledge that it's my fault but after crashing so many times, it's hard to regain my faith. Oh well. It'll take time.

On a slightly brighter note, the rest of my day went pretty well. Had lunch at some pizza bar near Holland Village. Then played mahjong at my aunt's hse and even though I lost $5, my grandma said that I didn't have to pay and my aunt gave me $10. =p So yeps. Then to end off the night before going back to hostel, played sparklers with jon. I <3 sparklers! They remind me of my childhood days. The innocence and joy those days brought.. =)

tick-tock, tick-tock

2008-09-13T10:55:00.002+08:00

Oh great. I must be going mad soon. Of all the blog titles that I could have come up with, I came up with this. Oh well. It says something about my creativity.

Term 4 Week 1 is over and well, it was almost like any other week. Of course, there were a few exceptions. The seniors' student recitals started and well, I didn't bother to attend a single one. =p Was contemplating whether to attend his but in the end, saw no point in going.. Spent the time doing something quite productive instead. Lol. If you can call what I did productive.. =p Oh well. At least I'm more than 1/3 through what I want to do..

Oh. I conclude that the track's still too crowded at night. Not really a conducive place for reflecting so found somewhere else instead. The obvious place is also the least obvious one. =p And the best part? The place isn't out-of-bounds so I'm not breaking any rules. Even though I would really really love to go to the rooftop..

I'm at Jurong library now but since I have no work to do, I'm just slacking while I watch him do work. Jurong library really holds a lot of memories for me, doesn't it? Been frequenting the library so often since Year 3.. Each year, I frequent the library with someone different. What can I say? The cafe has nice drinks. Especially my cookies and cream moo. =) It's basically just cookies and cream milkshake but it's really really delicious. And who can forget the wonderful mudpie? =)

By the way, you're not the only one that doesn't fit in. I know how it feels.

~forever was in your eyes..

truth is

2008-09-05T00:27:00.002+08:00

I really dislike the way you always put the truth in perspective. Pft. Let me wallow in self-denial for awhile more, can? Oh well. I've got to give you credit though for knowing me so well. It's interesting how we always go back to the same few topics.

I've got to admit that I really enjoy my times with you even if you force me to face reality. But you're the only one who seems to understand the need for dramatic endings. I guess I learn to appreciate the beauty of drama from you? Heehee. Must push the blame to you. =p

We really must catch up more often. Then you can whack me on the head for all my foolish thoughts and I can tsk at you for all your scandals. Lol. Thanks for the treat! =) Drumlets and chicken chunks the next time?

日有所思，夜有所梦

2008-09-02T21:57:00.002+08:00

Have I mentioned that I really really dislike certain dreams of mine? Especially those that continue to invade my thoughts during the day and makes me think of certain stuff. If only I could forget those dreams when I wake up..

Let's see.. Last night, I had this dream that I found a score for a song in a stack of notes or something. It turned out that a certain someone composed the song. And of course, me being me, I asked to hear the song. So I had to wait til the person finished school before I could hear the song. What I remember most was how I was counting down the hours til I could hear the song..

I'm trying to figure out what's so wrong about the dream. Oh ya, maybe cause I can't seem to stop thinking about the person during random times today? Best part? This isn't the first time I've dreamt about the person. But can't remember the previous dreams.. Thankfully. But dreams are just dreams.. It's unlikely that any of them will come true in real life. After all, that would mean that the person would actually have to talk to me. And well, that happens once in a orange moon. For those blur sotongs who can't figure out what once in a orange moon means, it means almost never. Blue moons do come true so I can't use that expression. =p

On a brighter note, went out today with Renee and Michelle. =) Walked around Marina Square and Suntec for 4-5 hours before finally taking a break at Starbucks. Went back to Marina Square to check if a particular shop was open. Too bad Renee had to leave before that.. Ended up buying 2 t-shirts from that shop. Heehee. One's blue and one's yellow. I was trying my best not to buy colours that I already have. So I was asking the guy "What colour do you have this design in? I don't want black, white, brown and green." Lol. So only the brighter colours were left.. The sayings on the t-shirts are really cute. =p

Anyway, I think I'll stop here.. Just wanted to rant about the dream. It's pretty obvious who the person is but don't pass judgement, ok? I have no control over what or who I dream about. It's not my fault. If I could control my dreams, I wouldn't be dreaming of him. Or would I?

meme

2008-09-02T21:02:00.002+08:00

1. Next to each number, write only the name of the person who fits.
2. Answer one question with one name.
3. Don't tell the questions to anyone who isn't doing the meme.

1) Lynn
2) Samantha
3) No one.
4) Jillyn (my mum)
5) Lynnette Ng
6) Ken wei
7) Hui Shi
8) Sis Francesca
9) Tian Cheng
10) Gloria Wong
11) No one.
12) Angela
13) Michelle Yeo
14) Lilin
15) Lynnette Seow
16) No one.
17) Cassandra
18) Jolyn
19) Cheryl Chua
20) Vanessa
21) Shao Wen
22) No one.
23) Zhong Ming
24) No one really comes to mind..
25) No one in my circle..
26) No one. =p
27) Chermaine (i'm being ego..)
28) Renee
29) Ken wei. (duh?!)
30) =p

Lol. I realized that my circle of friends is very small.. Either that or the descriptions just don't fit anyone I know. =p

17th birthday celebration

2008-08-24T13:18:00.003+08:00

Thanks to all those who wished me "Happy Birthday!" =) I shaln't list all the names down cause it's quite a list..

It's been 2 great days of celebration and well, it's time to recount it even though most people should have heard of how I spent my birthday already.

Had an inorganic chemistry test first thing in the morning and well, I messed it up. But never mind.. It's over. Then went up to the hostel room and enjoyed reading "Summer". Finished reading it and went out with my dad, mum and cousin for lunch @ ThaiExpress. After that, went to Marina Square with my cousin. Walked around and bought a black miniskirt for myself. =p Had tea break at Chocz.. Yummy. =) Then played pool and got thrashed.. 5-0. >.< Went home and had spaghetti cooked by my dad. It's been years since he last cooked spaghetti. I feel honoured that he cooked it for my birthday.

Met up with glo and went to the Swensens at suntec for lunch on Saturday. Was pleasantly surprised when hui shi showed up. =) Then after walking around for awhile, we decided to go kbox. =) Sang for 3 hours.. Towards the end of the 3 hours, shao, char and deb showed up. Haha. Trust glo to keep surprising me.. Then after that, met kenwei.. Didn't know glo had his number. Lol. Went to vivocity and played 2 games of table hockey and got thrashed 7-1, 6-3. Went for dinner at Marche with sammi, kenwei, mei and michelle. =) And then finally went home..

Glad that I was proven wrong. My birthday went well and it wasn't as bad as I imagined.. But I was proven right in another aspects.. Some people really forgot to wish me "Happy Birthday!" Oh well. History does repeat itself. Forget it. I saw it coming anyway..

wishes on a star

2008-08-21T19:00:00.003+08:00

I really need to examine my head, there's probably a few screws loose.. Oh well. Can I blame it on circumstances? Under normal circumstances, the idea wouldn't have crossed my head. At the very least, I haven't act upon the idea yet. I was tempted to flip a coin but I think I'll just leave it to fate. Let's see if fate wants to mess up my life. Wait a minute, isn't flipping a coin leaving it to fate too? Lol. How contradictory. But ya, I'll wait and see if something happens. If it does, then I'll act upon my crazy idea. After all, I need a sign. =p Haha. I'm quite sure everyone will disapprove of this idea but what to do? There's a reason why I'm not stating what the idea is.. But ya, even I know the idea is crazy and not the smartest thing to do but still.. Don't blame me. Go blame it on circumstances. After all, what I wanted wasn't too much to ask for, right?

I really should be studying for my inorganic chemistry test right now but I guess I want to keep my blog alive. Besides, I want to just rant and ramble for awhile more. It's been ages since I did that in here.

Strange how I have this bad feeling that tomorrow will just be a day of disappointment. I can't shake off the feeling. I'm not even expecting a lot. I just want a reason to smile and be happy. But why do I think that I'll be faking the smiles? Oh well. At least Saturday holds a bit more promise.. If nothing else, ice cream will do the trick of making my day. An earthquake should be enough for two people. =p And if all fails, there's always retail therapy. But first, I'll have to survive tomorrow.

I know I shouldn't sound so pessimistic but I can't help it. I was disappointed when I least expected it. And this round, I really don't want to go through the same thing all over again. So rather than hoping, I've resigned myself to being disappointed. If I'm proven wrong, that's an added bonus. Strangely enough, I fear that my disappointment might come from more than one source this time around.. I'll wait and see but something inside me is mentally prepared that tomorrow might not be one of my best days.

Who knows? Maybe I'm scaring myself. I certainly hope so. Hopefully, I'm proven wrong. I better stop thinking of the worst case scenario. But then again, at the very least, I'm mentally prepared.

~.. just don't come true.

sunrise

2008-08-18T22:31:00.002+08:00

Reread "Sunrise" by Karen Kingsbury since I needed to refresh my memory of the plot before I read the next book in the series "Summer". Came across this two really meaningful lines..

"Because sometimes a heart needed to grieve so it wouldn't shrivel up and die from sadness. Tears were a way to bring new life to a soul barren from loss."

Nah.. Shaln't reflect too much on the lines but they're just so accurate. Shall end off the entry now.. Just wanted to share those lines with those who read my blog. That's all.

birthday wishes

2008-08-17T17:41:00.002+08:00

Whee! I'm starting to receive presents already.. Mum gave me a wallet awhile ago and said it was part of my birthday present and today, she gave me another present. It's probably a t-shirt from Funky-B but I haven't opened it yet.. Shall wait til Friday. Paternal grandma gave me a nice big red packet so it shall go into my savings to make up for all those times I overspent. =p

One birthday request: Can someone please go out with me on my birthday during the afternoon? I'll probably end class at 10am and have nothing to do til dinner with my family. I don't want to spend my birthday alone. So please, pretty please? Someone offer to go out with me? Lol. I'm so demanding..

Nvm. At least I'll be celebrating even more the next day. Scheduled to go out with glo and then dinner with a bunch of close friends. =) Counting down to my birthday.. =)

Tioman trip

2008-08-11T19:03:00.002+08:00

Yesyes, the title is utterly original. =p But what do you expect? My brain isn't really working and I still need to retain the remnants of my brain cells to complete my biology assignment.

Disgustingly early reporting time of 5:40am.. Thankfully, my dad sent me there. =p Long bus ride and a slightly shorter ferry ride to Tioman.. Not much to blog about during the first day except for the intertidal activity at night. Not bad.. Flipping over rocks to discover organisms like sea cucumbers and crabs.. I can't believe the tide was that low.

Second day.. Forest and freshwater activity. The forest activity reminded me a bit of Pahang. Climbing up the slope and all.. Thankfully, we didn't have to go too far in. Ohh. Saw a bat hanging from one of the trees.. What's a bat doing in the forest? 0.0 Highlight of the freshwater activity was probably seeing a snake.. Can't remember the exact name of the snake, dog-face something.. Snorkelling in our free time! =) That was definitely the highlight of the trip. It's been ages since I last snorkelled. Saw the "fake" clownfish and many other fishes. Lots of sea urchines and corals too. There were schools of fishes near the jetty. Really really enjoyable.. =)

Third day.. Treasure hunt and mangrove activity. The clues were pretty simple but I have to take my hat off to the winning group. How did they do it in 33 minutes? 0.0 The mangrove activity was pretty amusing actually. To watch the crabs pop out of their burrows and then go back in.. Went snorkelling again but the water was more murky and didn't see that many things.. Nose kept giving me problems so I had to keep adjusting my mask.

Hmm.. Kept thinking about stuff on the bus ride back to Singapore. Didn't help that they were blasting certain songs.. I really like this line from Jay Chou's 安静.
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你
It's so true. Only when you love someone so much, can you bear to let go of that person.. So ya, was thinking about writing a letter but I think I'll wait til the end of the year. So much things that I want to say but I'm waiting for the right time..

Anyway, I better stop blogging. Still need to finish my biology assignment and start packing my bag..

one last

2008-08-11T18:50:00.002+08:00

Just came back from Tioman a few hours ago. I'll blog about the trip in a separate post. There's something else that I want to blog about.. It's been bugging me since Thursday.

Went to watch HSM Ice Tour at Singapore Expo with Jonathan. (For those blur sotongs who don't know, Jonathan's my brother. =p) Anyway, mum escorted us all the way to the entrance before going back home. Went around the stalls and bought this overpriced candy floss and there was a free hat that came along with it. It's super glittery! Thank goodness Jonathan picked blue instead of pink or silver.. The blue isn't as glaring on the eyes.

When the show started, was overwhelmed with emotion. Suddenly, I didn't want to watch the performance anymore. There was just this sharp sense of loss that threatened to make me lose control.. Sighs. Managed to calm down and tried my best to enjoy the show. Basically, the performance is just a shortened version of the two shows with ice skating thrown in. Towards the end of the first half, I was hit by that same emotion again. Try guessing why.. Let's see. Maybe it has something to do with a certain ending song.. >.< Tears almost fell. I don't get it. I'm fine watching the show on television and all but suddenly, when watching the performance, I get hit by memories of the past. Suddenly, I realized how much things have changed and well, I can't help but wish for those days.. We were all so much happier back then. Kept wishing that any one of you was there to share the experience with me.

The second half was more bearable since I don't have any memories associated with HSM 2.. Ohh. During the intermission, bought this shaved ice thing that came in a nice looking tumbler. A bit overpriced but still not as bad as the candy floss.. Anyway, the performance was quite good overall even if the skaters didn't really look like any of the real actors. Lol.

Anyway, that's all I really want to blog about.. Time to blog about the Tioman trip next. Ohh.. Why did I choose "one last" as my title? Perhaps it reflects my hopes that this will be the last time I'm so affected by HSM..

almost

2008-08-05T20:37:00.003+08:00

I can't think of a suitable title. Thought of quite a few but nothing really seems to fit.. Shall blog first and hopefully, I'll be able to come up with a title by the end of the entry.. Looking back at my archives, I realized that I've only blogged 5-6 times in the past 3 months. Compared to my usual rate of 10+ entries per month, it's certainly a lot less.. Has my life become that boring but am I just unable to express my thoughts?

Finally went for service on Sunday after not going for a few weeks.. It wasn't my fault, ok? I kept having late nights on Saturday so couldn't wake up on Sunday. It's going to take awhile to adjust to waking up early for FUEL and service on Sunday mornings. For those who don't know, I normally attend Saturday service but after my church multiplied the youth ministry, I followed my cell to Sunday.

I'll just fast forward to altar call.. Got prayed for by three people, Sis Cheryl, Pastor Gary and Sis Fran. Can't remember what Sis Cheryl prayed but what struck me most was what Pastor Gary said.. God's calling me back to Him. I've drifted quite far away from Him and I couldn't seem to find my way back. At the start of the year, my faith was what pulled me through the initial challenge but with each repeated trial, I guess I started to lose my faith. All I heard was silence from Him.. It was so much easier to turn my back on Him and rely on my own strength and those around me. Sis Fran reminded me that He loves me. It'll take time but I'm hoping to find my way back.. There are still things holding me back though. Oh well..

Could someone please analyze my dreams for me? Somehow, my dreams love to remind me of what I've left behind, of the things and people I've let go of.. The dreams seem so real and hold so much promise but once I wake up, the fantasy is shattered. Ouch. I can't help but feel guilty over some of my dreams even though I have no control over them. Some dreams are just not right. What's in the past should be left in the past.. I made my choice this time last year. So why do the dreams still remind me of what I've let go of? I just want dreamless sleep..

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?

This song came to mind for no apparent reason. Or maybe it's cause I see glimpses of myself in the girl.. I'm still not who I used to be. I think I know what I need. But guess what? I won't open my mouth to ask of it. Why not? Well, some things are meant to be given freely.. But yes, I'm getting happier nowadays but it still pales in comparison to the joy I used to have in my life. When was the last time I was truly hyper? -shrugs.

I just ate a starfish! =p Haha. My bro just came into the room with a pack of biscuits shaped like sea creatures. I've ate two fishes, a starfish and a squid. I want more! =p Ohh.. A crab. Haha. I'm actually easily contented. It doesn't take much to make me smile. This is a classic example. I'm actually playing a guessing game with my bro and having lots of fun. The winner gets to eat the biscuit. =)

Not bad.. This entry is actually of a decent length. Ohh.. For those who don't know, I'll be in Tioman from 8th - 11th for a ecology field trip. I'll be bringing my laptop and phone along so I'll still be contactable. Mhmm.. =)

unspoken

2008-07-24T19:00:00.005+08:00

I keep a lot to myself nowadays, don't I? This blog has been quite neglected.. At the very least, I would recount parts of my life here but now, I can't seem to make the effort to do even that. This entry shall just be random sentences strung together. Maybe they'll make sense, then again, I have my doubts..

As the date draws closer, I wonder whether history will repeat itself. I shouldn't expect too much. The higher the expectations, the greater the fall.. Why do I even care? It's not right..

The song goes, "A dream is a wish your heart makes.." Please don't let that be true. The dream last night reminded me too much of the beautiful lies that I once heard. Were they lies? I guess I'll never know..

Sighs.. My brain is having fun generating random phrases. But after I type them, they just don't seem right anymore. So I've been debating what to write for the past 15 minutes and after much thought and effort, I've decided that it's best I end my entry here now.

ramblings..

2008-07-16T21:21:00.002+08:00

My poor blog has been abandoned for three weeks.. So I thought I'll try to revive it. Warning: I have no inkling of what this entry is going to be about and as the title suggest, it's just going to be very random.

My eyes are aching a bit.. I suspect I've been using my laptop too much recently without taking any breaks. Been reading alot of fanfiction from nes's favourite list and well.. neglecting my project proposal. I'll probably start on it later or tomorrow.. Depending on my mood. =p

Actually, I think I'll turn in early.. Pretty sleepy or maybe that's just because my eyes ache. I would love to read but don't think my eyes can take the strain.. Oh yes, there's math tutorial to be done but it's only due on friday so I'll probably attempt it tomorrow or something. There goes my break tomorrow..

This entry is pretty pointless.. I guess I'm not in the mood to blog? Oh.. This is the first entry in months that's typed from my hostel room. That's probably the highlight of this entry. Anyway, that's all. So tempted to say "toodles". =p

sleepless nights

2008-06-26T16:47:00.002+08:00

Great.. When I don't have that much problem falling asleep, I have a problem staying asleep throughout the night. At first, I used to toss and turn for at least 1 hour before dozing off. For the first few times, I managed to doze off quite soon this week. Must have been tired out from all the running and all..

Last night was horrendous though. Dozed off relatively fast but it was the second consecutive night when I couldn't sleep well. Had something close to a nightmare.. I don't remember much but I know I screamed at somebody in my dream. Let's name that person X. X was together with Z and well, I screamed at X in front of Z and Z shouted back at me. I regained my senses and walked off. But I remember X saying something Y being wise.. I have no idea how that fits in together with the dream but yes.. And yet, somehow I can picture this scenario happening.. Freaky thought.

Woke up and wanted to blog about the dream to get it off my head but I ended up going back to sleep.. Had yet another dream. At least, this wasn't scary but it was just weird.. A lot of people from different areas in my life coming together. I remember that I was walking around alone then bought ice cream. Met this strange girl and her friend and for some funny reason, she didn't like me. Ended up insulting me or something like that. Eventually, she walked off and I continued walking around until I entered Zara or one of those shops.. Tried something on and turns out she and her friend was in the next changing room. Exchanged words again but somehow, we were more civil. She invited me to join her to go shopping at Mango but then Y came into the picture..

Y was there and brought me someplace else.. Apparently, there was some surprise in store for me.. Some birthday dinner or something like that. Then a lot of weird scenes.. I remember chasing after a friend just to find her running onto the road and getting knocked down. But miraculously, she survived. A lot of random people kept popping up in my dream.. It didn't make sense at all. Thankfully, the last part was more normal. By then, most people had left already and he turned up (at long last..) so introduced him to my family.. After that, the dream kind of ended.. I think I woke up again. Yeps.

Freaky.. I've been having weird dreams.. Can't remember the dreams from a few nights ago.. But ya, I'm most disturbed by the first dream. It scares me.. Oh well. At least the 2nd dream was just weird.. Anyway, thanks to the dreams and all, I had a very sleepless night and couldn't be awaken this morning. If anyone knows how to stop these dreams from coming, please tell me.. I'm tired of waking up at least 3-4 times each night.. >.<

addictive..

2008-06-13T20:18:00.002+08:00

It's been ages since I last blogged.. A month and 2 weeks to be exact. Oh well. I've been having writer's block. Each time I open the "create post" window, I type a few lines and get stuck.. But since everyone's been commenting on how my blog is dead, I shall revive it.

Haha. I've been seeing a particular someone everyday this week. Record-breaker, I guess? =p

Monday. Kungfu panda with relatives and that someone. Lol. Quite ok. Then afterwards, played pool and lost miserably to him.. Gymmed for awhile before attempting to make my way home. Lol. I shall not elaborate.

Tuesday. More gymming and lunch. Topless 5! Thankfully, you two forgot about adding cheese to the ice cream.. I shudder to think how ice cream will taste with cheese topping.

Wednesday.. Library. The usual. Reading and more reading.. I really should be more guai and stick to reading my book instead of disturbing him. I guess there's only so long that I can sit still and read.. =p Then followed by coffee and shopping with sammi marina square. I am sad.. I need more cash to buy pretty clothes. =p Saw this really nice babydoll dress at miss selfridge but it was way past my budget.. Saw a few things at Zara but nothing really suited me. Went down to town and found nice things at Isetan. Bought a blue spaghetti top after trying on dozen of tops.. Then went to Hula & co and thought that the dress looked pretty good on the model so tried it on. It's this halter top dress. Black, white and green. The price was reasonable so bought it. -gasps. I finally bought a dress after so long..

Thursday. Went all the way down to Changi Airport. =p Watched like 7 episodes of Code Geass and 1 episode of Claymore.. I can't believe I'm actually watching anime. -faints. But ya, it was quite fun. Just sitting there at Coffee Bean and enjoying the show with him.

Friday. More anime watching at the library in the morning.. He had to leave after lunch though so I went home. Dad rushed back from the airport to bring the family to the beach. =) Didn't cycle though.. Helped build sandcastles. Version 3 was definitely better.. Subway for dinner! Dad still owes me a milkshake though. Lol.

Not bad.. This entry is actually of a decent length. Ohh! I have 2 jigsaw puzzles to finish.. Haha. Now all I have to do is find time to actually start on them.. =)

right from wrong

2008-05-07T16:46:00.002+08:00

I haven't been blogging much cause there's been nothing much to blog about. At least nothing that I feel comfortable with saying on my blog..

Once bitten, twice shy. Hah. Really? Times like this, you wonder if anyone ever learns that playing with fire is dangerous..

Voices in all directions telling me what to do.. What happens when they clash? How do you pick between your right hand and your left?

I'm not being emotional, but just in one of my moods.. Looking for that elusive something known as happiness..

time of the day..

2008-04-27T21:17:00.002+08:00

Haha. True.. I'm most active around that time.. I disagree with the last line though. "I look good, and I know it." Lol. Sorry. Not much confidence about my physical appearance..

Anyway, time to get back to doing maths.. Since one of my dear friends has asked that I finish 2 FRQs and 1 MCQ by Tuesday..

终于

2008-04-25T21:42:00.002+08:00

好大的满足感，我终于把最后的短讯清除掉。
为了证明他已经在我心里不再有那么重要的地位了。。

有人曾经问我，“如果他要多一个机会，你会给他那个机会吗？”
我很肯定地回答，“不会。他占的地位已经被另外一个人夺走了。”

终于。。我学会放手了。而且，放手已经不痛了。
现在，我期待未来，一个充满新的回忆的未来。

highlight

2008-04-23T20:31:00.003+08:00

Ok, that was a messed up entry but I really couldn't resist. It's been so long since I had one of those.. =p

I like the start of today. I like the middle of today. I hope I like the end of today.

I still think that I'm not ready but at least I won't regret my decision. I never do..

Thank you.

clipped wings

2008-04-23T20:20:00.002+08:00

Fall from grace.. You don't know how it hurts until you've fallen. Fall and you'll see what I mean. Then again, I don't recommend falling.

To be a shadow.. You don't know how it hurts until you've been left in the backseat. A shadow of your former self? To see the daily reminders of the person you once used to be..

To still love.. How can one person crave so much attention? I know why some people have phobias of looking in the mirror. How can one stand to see the reflection?

Go figure what I'm talking about.. Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.
I'm not me. I'm you.

once in a blue moon

2008-04-22T21:54:00.002+08:00

Haha. I love that saying. Just bought a shirt today with that saying on it.. It's a saying that originated from primary school and to me and her, it means something else altogether. =p

Today was nice but could have been better. -cough. Yes yes, go figure.. Sammi, wipe that smirk off your face. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Haha.. I miss talking with sammi. She understands me for who I am and who I was. I guess I understand where she's coming from.. The feeling of being wanted and being loved.. Sometimes, nothing beats that. It's a nice feeling. But yes, you really should be feeling more guilt. Tsktsk. Oh well. Talk about double standards. The promises that once were..

We talked about the future. And then realized we did that with them too. Maybe that was our fault? We believed in them too much. We believed that they would always be there. So this round, I guess I'm more cautious. "Forever" and "always" are nice words.. Don't abuse them, ok? I'm taking a chance.

Primary school was so much more innocent then, right? We've come a long way dear.. If we could turn back time, would we? Would you? I wouldn't.. As much as the scars still remain.

Kenwei memorized respiration!

2008-04-19T17:36:00.003+08:00

Haha. I'm amused by that title.. He suggested it. =p

I'm currently at the library and just finished making up my notes for Biochemistry.. A bit more of drawing to go but that'll have to wait til I go home. Yeps.. >.<

The week's been interesting. Highlight of the week was going out to Orchard on Wednesday with mei, michelle, didi and kenwei. =) Neoprints! =) Haha. "Definitely, Maybe" wasn't too bad.. Yeps. Too bad there wasn't time to play pool.. Window-shopped around Orchard quite a bit to the dismay of the 2 guys.. =p

I have nothing to blog about recently.. >.< -whines. =p

Why

2008-04-15T18:55:00.002+08:00

ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Was playing at the playground at Serene Centre when I was young and scratched myself against some metallic thing.. Left a crescent-shaped scar at my ankle.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
11:10pm so late, right?

WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
World peace. Haha. Just joking. I want more quality time with my close friends. =)

HOW TALL ARE YOU?
166cm. plus/minus a bit..

DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
not really..

DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
nope.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL?
That weird combination in Body Shop that nes intro-ed me to..

WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
something relatively normal, please?

WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO?
Hmm.. Never really thought of that before. Somewhere romantic? =p

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
hawaiian.

DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
Haha. Go ask my friends. They'll all give you the same answer. =p

WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Sadly, yes.. >.<

WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Hmm.. By doing stuff for them to show that you care? I don't know how to put it into words..

WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Promises being broken..

YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Too emotional and way too attached to various people and things..

MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
nope.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
nope, thankfully..

HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
yeps.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hmm.. I've got most of the things I want already. Wait, i know. More time with various close friends.. I can't ever get enough of that.

HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
2-3? I'll need to check with my husband in the future.

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
nope.

DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Once in awhile.. =p

WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Can't remember. Too lazy to go and check..

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yeps. =)

HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
I rarely get angry but when I do, I either keep it inside or vent it on inanimate objects..

WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
School.. >.<

LAST THING YOU DRANK?
water.. Ice cold water. =)

THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX?
Face.. =p

FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR?
August. =p

LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
Leap Years.

FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
No day in particular..

PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
Piano..

KISSES OR HUGS?
Hugs. =)

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Stars by Nora Roberts.

amused

2008-04-10T18:42:00.002+08:00

Haha. Did I mention that my mum was going on about her grandchildren while I was having acupuncture? She was saying how her granddaughter would be very cute and have pigtails and all.. Lol. How typical of my mum to mention such random stuff. My defence was like, "I don't even have a boyfriend and here you are talking about my children already.." I was very amused by that incident so ya..

Exams have started. Wished I had the same level of amusement towards them.. English was bearable but there's this sneaking suspicion that my essay was badly written. Oh well. It's over. I've been sleeping a lot since I came home from school. Slept from 12 plus to 3 then from 4 plus til now.. Excessive, isn't it? I really should do a bit of revision.

2 dreaded papers tomorrow.. >.< Wish me all the best? I'm scared.. Tempted to fall sick and skip the papers.. That's how badly I don't want to take the exams. =p

frustration

2008-04-06T18:40:00.002+08:00

Enough with the trend of using movie titles as my entry title.. I need a new trend. Never mind, can't think of anything for now. Shall stick to normal entry titles..

~I woke up this morning, feeling kind of blue..

I'm frustrated over the smallest things.. Sleep has become my escape. Slept from 10 plus last night to 4 plus this afternoon.. Woke up here and there but refused to get out of bed so ya.. Don't force me to do things that I don't want to do. I'm running out of motivation and drive.. The idea of taking a long holiday is sounding more and more tempting right now. I don't think I'm ready for my exams. >.<

I need a punching bag.. Sighs. I'm more frustrated and stressed out nowadays.. It's not the same as emo-ing but rather it's a new level of feeling annoyed. I rather be emotional than to be in this state. At least I usually know why I'm feeling emotional but right now, I have no idea what's causing all the stress and frustration. I need another long break.. >.< How am I even going to survive through exams?

Help.. I'm drowning in my own self-imposed stress and frustration.. Just a few more days to go but the days have never seemed longer.

The Notebook

2008-04-03T10:51:00.002+08:00

I'm picking random movie titles that I like as my blog entry title.. =p

Should I go back to blogging about notebooks? Brought my two books of neoprints to school today to show it to a friend. I'm surprised that the memories don't hit me that badly anymore. I've looked at the pictures too many times? They're imprinted in my head already. I still miss what all the pictures represent but I'm determined to create a new set of memories..

Thinking about all my past notebooks, they kind of tell the story of who I am. Each notebook records down the events of that time and eventually, each notebook gets filled and the story ends.. Using a new notebook this year and well, it's rarely used. It's used more as a pillow than as a notebook. But ya.. This new notebook is filled with more random scribblings than before. >.< Oh well..

If you want to know the person I was in Sec 2, ask for the bubbles notebook. =) It's quite interesting to see what kind of ramblings I wrote then.. And now, it's quite interesting to note that some things don't change.. I still resort to writing in my diary once in a pink moon. =p My diary has followed me since Primary 1.. Ahh. The stories in there are priceless. All the most embarrassing things and all, they're all recorded in there. =p The bittersweet memories are in there too.. Oh well. Enough rambling. This entry was pretty pointless. But just felt the need to blog.. =p

High School Musical

2008-03-30T00:59:00.002+08:00

Haha. It's the most apt title for this entry? I was running out of inspiration so ya..

Fun-o-rama! It was fun but tiring. Walked around a lot and met quite a few people.. Lux, Kenneth, Mel, Mikel, church friends, etc.. The list continues. Didn't really have much proper food for lunch so forced myself to swallow a few bites of this spicy pasta. Thankfully, had Kenwei around to finish up the food. =p 3 bowls of ice kachang! =)

Still wonder what life would have been like if I had opt out of GEP in Secondary 1.. Somehow, I think I'll be a lot more playful. =p I've been quite guai, thanks to the education system that I'm used to? Homework, homework and more homework.. Lol. Still think I would have slacked my school life away if I went to a mainstream school in Secondary 1. Then again, I wouldn't have known so many great people. >.<

I don't regret any of my education choices.. At least, not yet. =p Haha. But ya.. Coming to this school was the right move even if I'm suffering now. I can still remember the carefree days in Year 3 when lessons were so much more fun. That reminds me of why I came to this school. I truly enjoyed learning and well, I still retain a bit of that spirit.

Anyway, it's getting late.. Think I'll go sleep. Goodnight!

The Lake House

2008-03-27T10:43:00.002+08:00

-yawns. I'll be blogging in Chinese later.. But ya, time to explain the movie choice? I guess I'm picking shows based on my mood and the memories that they bring back. I cried quite a bit during this show because of the circumstances.. Hurt someone that I loved and well, I was thinking about it during the show. Someone, watch the movie with me again, please? I need to create a new set of memories..

用新的回忆把你忘掉。。
我还忍不得把那一个简讯清除掉。当我肯，那表示我已经不在乎曾经拥有过的美好回忆。渐渐地，我已经开始放手。也许你比较快乐，也许你比较孤单，但已经轮不到我做什么了。我开始找到了新的幸福，开始接受一个没有你的空间了。做得了朋友吗？我不知道，只有你清楚。

Was thinking too much last night and took quite awhile to sleep.. It's true. There are still tell-tale signs that I haven't let go fully, as much as I claim I have. At least, I'm not looking out for him anymore. It doesn't really matter whether I see him around or not. But the neoprints are still bittersweet memories. I will never be willing to tear the pages out. After all, they were nice memories. But when will they just become sweet memories without the bitterness?

I'm slacking around in school now.. Ok. List of movies that I need to watch again. Step Up. Eragon. That's enough for now.. But yes, do me a favour and let me recreate memories.. Some memories are better forgotten but I don't forget, do I? I still remember the dates and all.. Tsk myself. I should be studying for bio quiz tomorrow or doing some productive work. Okok.. I shall do work after English.. No more slacking. But for the last one hour, more slacking. =)

meme

2008-03-25T22:04:00.003+08:00

7 random facts about myself:
1) I like to watch animated movies.
2) I gush over inanimate objects.
3) I'm biased and think that my brother is cute.
4) You will rarely catch me wearing a green top.
5) I absolutely dislike the sound of metal scratching against metal.
6) I cannot walk past shopping centres without having memories attached to the stores.
7) I cannot do work or pack my room when I'm not in the mood.

6 random questions:
Puppies or kittens? Puppies.
Black or white? White.
Blue or pink? Blue.
Pillow or bolster? Bolster.
Chinese or english? Chinese.
Australia or Italy? Australia.

5 random numbers
22 - birth date
8 - birth month
243769 - chermy (typed out using handphone keypad)
1107 - an exclassmate's birthday
19 - age i'll like to be

4 random things i want but will not buy
Sunglasses (i have no use for them but they look nice..)
Heroic Rendevous t-shirts (they're way too expensive!)
Shoelaces (i'm quite content with mine but don't mind changing once in awhile..)
Baby-G watch (i can't say no to one but i won't buy it either.. =p)

3 random names
Chermaine
Chermy
Dear/Darling (go blame my friends..)

2 random things i have to do
Study for organic chem and calculus test
Sleep

1 random wish
World peace! Lol. Just joking.. More quality time with my friends. =)

Haha. I feel accomplished.. Invented this meme on my own.. =p Just try it. Take the headings and fill in the blanks accordingly. I'll tag mei, nes, lynn and aaron to do this. =)

Grease

2008-03-25T18:14:00.002+08:00

I shall go back to having trends for my blog titles.. What shall it be this time? I've had song titles, food items, colours.. Ohh! Movie titles. =)

Grease.. Jiayou! =p So sorry.. Couldn't resist the lameness.. Grease has a nice soundtrack. Classic songs and well, I love a few of the songs.. "Hopelessly devoted to you", "Tears on my pillow", etc.. The list continues. The plot's questionable though. Would I ever love someone enough to change that drastically? From being a very guai student to someone who smokes and has -cough- questionable taste in clothings? Lol. Go watch the show sometime and have a good laugh. Anybody up for watching it with me soon? =)

I'm suddenly in the mood to listen to Grease OST (Original Soundtrack) for some weird reason. Maybe cause the songs are quite catchy and they help to keep me awake. =) Been sleeping alot lately and well, still quite sleepy in class. >.< I yawn a lot and end up tearing a lot. Pft. I want to keep my tears for more valuable times..

School days have been well.. uneventful. I'm running out of things to blog about. >.< Ohh.. Drifting. I've been drifting around a lot this year. I just realized that when I was talking to mei yesterday.. I need to catch up with the 3 of them more. But yes, I don't really like being split up by subject groups cause I miss my mentor group. No, I don't just miss my mei but I actually miss the entire mentor group.. There was this weird sense of belonging to 302 and 402. 502 doesn't get to meet up often enough and our mentor is MIA (missing in action)..

I need to play DDR soon.. =p Don't ask. I'm just being random. Here's the list of things I want to do after the APs..
1) Play pool!
2) Go to the arcade with kenwei, lynnette and nes
3) Watch random movies (in the cinema or at someone's house)
4) Spend the whole day at the library
5) Go to the beach
6) Fix up my jigsaw puzzle
7) Go shopping with friends - sammi, nes, kenwei, mei, mel, etc

Sighs.. The list looks so promising. I just need to endure another 2 more months.. =p

ordinary

2008-03-20T14:54:00.002+08:00

-yawns. I'm blogging just to pass the time, aren't I? Slacking in the school library now and waiting for PE to start in one and a half hour's time.

Do I dare reflect on certain things in my life? April's going to be a challenging month.. I tend to be quite emotional during that month. Then again, I'm quite emotional almost any month. =p Haha. But ya, with exams and all.. >.<

~Take a look at the ordinary, don't need to look for paradise, you could be next to an angel in disguise..~

I don't need happily ever afters.. I don't think I dare to believe in them. Just promise me.. Nvm. -shrugs. I have no idea what I'm blogging about. But yes, I feel like being deliberately vague. Maybe it's been too long since I opened up. Even now, I have no idea how I'm feeling or at least, I refuse to admit what's been going through my head. Give me awhile to learn how to open up to you all again, ok? I'm still keeping a lot of things to myself.. After all, it's not easy to confide in people. >.<

I need to find a day to chill out again. Still stressing myself out quite a bit? It's hard to ask me to lower my own expectations. I still believe that the impossible can be accomplished. Just that I don't see how I can go about achieving it.. I can still picture the future. Except that it's never seemed so far away from my grasp..

the child in me

2008-03-18T21:40:00.002+08:00

Whee! I'm in a decently good mood. Went shopping for Threadless shirts and ended up getting two.. =) My homework's actually near completion. -gasps. I shall be childish and list everything that I want.. Both material things and non-material things. =)

1) MP3 player
2) Dolphin music box
3) Karen Kingsbury's books
4) Jellybeans! =)
5) Slingbag/handbag
6) Go cycling at East Coast
7) Play pool with friends
8) Play DDR with friends
9) Go to the beach
10) Watch the sunset with friends

That's enough for now.. =p Whee! I'm mentally awake but about to shut down physically. I'm just in one of my rare good moods. Really miss being like a little kid who doesn't have to be stressed about school work. In primary school, homework was fun. Even exams weren't such a big deal.. Now, the stress gets to us more, doesn't it? Hang in there, everyone. =) My promise to my friends is that we'll relax properly after the APs. My treat. Haha. Already got something planned.. =p

needed a break

2008-03-18T15:08:00.002+08:00

Whoa. I realized that it's the first time in 11 years of education that I've ponned a normal school day? Lol. Then again, I did end up getting a MC to prove that I wasn't fit for school.. Lol. =p

Woke up this morning and was just so tired and sleepy.. Decided to lie in bed for awhile more but ended up just deciding to not go school. I was that sleepy and drained. It's rare for me to actually want to skip school. After all, each day that I skip school, it's one more day that I have to catch up. But I realized that I made the right choice. Feeling more rejuvenated now. And managed to focus enough to complete my math journal.. Or at least the summary part of it. =)

Ohh.. I'm going to cut my hair later. =p Lol. Nope, not intending to do anything too dramatic.. Probably just thin my hair and make it neater? Yeps.

I still need to finish the mindmap of the math journal and my English Academic Project.. >.< Oh well. I'll go back to doing math now. Shall finish it before I go cut my hair. =)

end of holidays

2008-03-16T22:56:00.002+08:00

The holidays have been interesting.. Didn't quite turn out the way I planned but I guess, it's not too bad either.

Slept a lot during the holidays.. It was rare for me to wake up before 11am and when I do wake up, I just grab breakfast and go back to sleep til lunch time. Horrendous, right? =p -yawns. I get sleepy very easily nowadays. That is bad. Wonder how I'm going to survive during lessons if I keep dozing off..

Didn't do a lot of work cause I was sleeping too much. =p Haha. I'm serious. I only went out on one day.. As in, going out properly with friends and all. Acupuncture doesn't count. =p Thursday was nice. Friday wasn't too bad either. Managed to do some work but ended off the day really nicely by walking around Jurong Point and all.. =)

-yawns. Ok. I better go sleep and all.. Don't want to start off the first day of the term yawning away.. Goodnight! Hope I survive another term.. =p

bits and pieces

2008-03-13T22:21:00.002+08:00

I'm still picking up the broken pieces of my life.. Ouch. I just got cut by one of the many pieces. Hard to believe that my heart's still intact. Barely..

Okok. I shall attempt to be more happy. After all, today was a fairly nice day. Went out with nes, lynnette and kenwei to vivocity. =) The movie wasn't too bad but quite a predictable ending. Got a bit more emotional towards the end of the movie.. I can't figure out why though. 2 possible reasons: touching movie or just reminiscing about the past. Certainly hope it's not the latter.. Some issues shouldn't have to be dealt with again. But yes.. Of all songs to end the movie, why that song? I still kept that letter. >.< I guess it'll take me forever to throw away the things that remind me of the past. I can't.. Fine. Let's blog about the song. "The Birthday Song" by Corrinne May.. I've lost the "wonder of the child" within my eyes, haven't I?

On a brighter note, it was fun window-shopping after the movie. =p Lol. Never thought that anyone could pull off a bright green shirt.. Really should drag you out shopping more often and make you try on other stuff. I guess today was a slightly better day for me? I need time out with friends to be happy.. Ohh! The arcade. =p But I definitely need more practice.. My reflexes have gotten slower. Oh well. -shrugs.

I don't blog much about how I feel on this blog anymore, do I? I guess I'm still bottling up how I feel.. So sorry but ya.. It's human nature to mask how I feel. >.< 对不起，我真的很对不起你们。

shattered

2008-03-11T20:00:00.002+08:00

I've been blogging less nowadays. I guess there isn't much to blog about?

The holidays have proven to be a chance for me to catch up on my sleep. This was what I did yesterday. Woke up for late breakfast at 11 and then went back to sleep, woke up for lunch at 1 and then went back to sleep til 3 before heading out for a doctor's appointment. Slept in again today..

I know it's good that I'm catching up on my sleep but I feel bad for neglecting my school work. Finally managed to do a bit of research for my english academic project since I realized that I needed 10 sources but only had 2-3 so far.. Thankfully, I stay close enough to the library. Whew.

Have I mentioned that my self-esteem is still at an all-time low? I'll get down to blogging about the title.. Shattered dreams and expectations. Ouch. I'm hurting deep inside and as much as I want to recover, I can't seem to. There's this barrier that stops me from being the person I once was. I used to be so much happier. I'm just living life one day at a time without much to look forward to. I want to wipe the slate clean and start this year all over again. This year is proving to be a challenge..

I'll try to snap out of this, ok? It's not doing anyone any good. Sighs.

On a slightly brighter note, I splurged a bit and bought "Like Dandelion Dust" by Karen Kingsbury plus a new t-shirt. Couldn't resist.. When all fails, retail therapy and breaks with friends. Next up, thursday. At least I know I'll be happy on that day.

mar hols

2008-03-07T21:51:00.002+08:00

I should be used to this now. Holidays are never long enough, ya? =p

Thanks to the people who've been supporting me. I'm stressing myself out a lot nowadays.. Maybe the day will come when I'm no longer so stressed out.

My March holidays is almost fully booked.. -hints. I've actually set aside a few days for pure revision work.

List of homework:
1) English Academic Project - 1st draft
2) Calc 2 Journal
3) Calc 2 Assignment 5
4) Reaction Kinetics Presentation

Lots of things to revise, what with exams in April and APs coming up in May.. >.< Help?! I'm already intimidated by the amount of MCQs and practice papers that I'm going to have to do.

anger

2008-03-03T17:50:00.003+08:00

I've lost all discipline. I can't hand in my homework on time. I can't do this, I can't do that. So what can I expect from everyone around me?

Can I please take a break during March holidays? When I cry, it's for real.

Just like the lyrics of this song, "But to cry in front of you, it's the worst thing I could do.." If you really need to know, the lyrics of this song is from Grease.

考一考我。我证明给你看。我承受不起了。我好累。

7 more minutes

2008-03-02T11:54:00.002+08:00

Lol. I'm counting down the time til I must start on my homework..

I multi-task too much. It's like I can't even finish my homework on time. I keep making goals and yet, it takes a long time to achieve them. Life is a series of paradoxes. The more you learn, the more you realize just how much you really don't know. I still remember what a primary school teacher told me, "Life is not fair, get used to it." Primary school was fun. Wish I could go back there more often..

It never occurred to me just how small the world is. Primary school people always meet up eventually. Eventually.. I need to pass things to so many people. Sighs. If I've forgotten anyone's birthday, tell me, ok? I'll feel guilty..

39 of us from Primary 4 - 6.. Such a small cohort. I've been really blessed to have good friends.

past baggages

2008-02-29T12:18:00.003+08:00

This entry will be chunks of lyrics followed by reflections.. =p

说好了痛苦一人一半转身各自解散
我左边肩膀上的天堂
(再不是你想来的地方)
说好了甜蜜一人一半让分手不那么酸
我帮你装上一双翅膀
却用回忆把自己捆绑
我不是你缺的那一半　你却永远是我另一半

I bolded the last three lines. I wonder why.. Maybe cause I find it applies to me too much. No, I'm not love-sick. Lol. In case no one ever realizes, love songs don't just apply to boy-girl relationships. How does one wipe away the memories? I still remember each tear I shed over each of you.. There are some who've made me cried so much and yet, it doesn't matter. I dare say that I've been hurt by each one of you and yet, I've done my fair part in hurting you all too. No matter how much you all drift away, know that you're always on my mind. I'll do what I can to mend the gaps when I can. But when I can't, please.. Understand that there's only so much I can do.

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

I have to learn how to let go.. And yet, I also need to learn when to hang on to what I believe in. I hate to admit this but I've doubted God and my friends so often.. There are times when I'm the one who drifts away.. I just don't show it as obviously, do I? Just realized why I'm still having so much emotional baggage. There was once when I trusted my friends with my life and I would give my life for them. But now, I only dare to give my life for them. I don't dare to trust them with my life.. Does that make sense? I love them enough to give all that I have but.. There's this part that's lacking. I guess I was hurt more badly than I ever care to admit. No, not just that one incident. It builds up. Yet another prayer requests, that I'll find back my trust and faith in my friends too. It takes more energy and effort to open up nowadays..

-hugs. Don't worry so much about me, ok? I guess I'm realizing my own weaknesses more clearly nowadays.. Talk to me soon, can? Any one of you.. I really need to talk to several of you about certain stuff.

whee!

2008-02-28T10:19:00.002+08:00

Ok. I should stop reading fictionpress stories.. Just finished reading one story that had 47 chapters and well, it's not even completed yet. =p So sorry if I was being very anti-social while reading the story. It's that good. =)

-swoons. I love gushing over fictional characters. This story was different from the usual cliche high school romance. Interesting how much people can change because of someone they love. I admire the main character of the story. She's perfect. Ok. I take that back. She's more than perfect. Great grades, wonderful group of friends, have a heart for others, can fight, can play musical instruments, good at sports, etc.. Her only weakness? Lol. Quote, "others". She refuses to fight until it's to protect other people. How true.. She much rather get bashed up than let her friends be bashed up.

Why is it that I can always put myself into the shoes of others? Or at least my close friends.. Nope, not going to list all of them but ya.. Realized that people always mean a lot to me. Sighs. Fatal weakness? Lol. -hugs. Love you all lots for what you all have done. Things haven't been easy this few months but we'll all survive, ya? =)

bouncing back

2008-02-27T23:44:00.002+08:00

Whoa. I'm impressed. Then again, I'm easily impressed. =p

I don't really moodswing but that was fast. My mood's improved tremendously since the last time I blogged. It helps when you realize certain things on your own after people try to drill it into you. Knowing and realizing is two different things. I need to claim onto what He's promised..

Maybe this is why I have a high tolerance of people. I'm learning how to put myself into their shoes.. -cough. But more than that, I tend to see the good in people and see the worst in myself? Lol.

Why do I have so many friends who are just blunt and brutally honest with the truth? Lol.

life of hope

so long, farewell

Rad(I)cal

getting ready

music, food and sleep

christmas shopping

self-indulgence

family time

more questions..

girls' night out

talking at night

love at first sight

oops!.. i did it again.

quizzie

made my night

a day in heels

one moment in time

at long last

jon's birthday

time of my life

chalet stay

last night

原来

life of a slacker

black or grey?

job-hunting

refusal

i want it all

nothing

fleeting happiness

for all the wrong reasons

HSM weekend

tagged again

triple tagged

TGIF

final chapter

masquerade

orange moon

the gift

hidden yet again..

hidden

first day of work

over

enjoyment

20 questions

doctor's order: shopping

over

68

remnants

save me

replay

preparations

finally..

annoyance

superior saturday

winner takes it all

change of blogskin

9 months

full moon

tick-tock, tick-tock

truth is

日有所思，夜有所梦

meme

17th birthday celebration

wishes on a star

sunrise

birthday wishes

Tioman trip

one last

almost

unspoken

ramblings..

sleepless nights

addictive..

right from wrong

time of the day..

终于

highlight

clipped wings

once in a blue moon